You look at me so strangely I wonder what you’re thinking
It’s as if I am the alcohol in the poison you’re drinking
With your eyes on my chest and your hands round my neck
My only wish at this moment is that you stop my breath
I know whom your heart belongs to a hore in a pretty dress
And you think that her love will destroy the sins you cant confess
But you are still tempted every time by my mystery
A strange concept that would only ever work for me
I am the red pill showing you the wonders of the darkness
For it is for the individual if eternal night is eternal bliss
She is the blue pill that will keep you trapped here
Under a state of control and drenched in the feeling of fear
Whichever one you choose will be your lifetime destiny
But I warn you there is no turning back with me
If you look into my eyes again you will see the red I mean
But you could decide otherwise and wonder if I was a dream
As you see me dance in the moonlight you question reality
But really all your questioning is what is the worth of me
Still she comes to you looking so pure on the outside
While the blue just makes her heart cold on the inside
Her fingertips look like those of a corpse that’s been beautified
All those around her trying to make her seem alive
I am the red pill showing you the wonders of the darkness
For it is for the individual if eternal night is eternal bliss
She is the blue pill that will keep you trapped here
Under a state of control and drenched in the feeling of fear
Whichever one you choose will be your lifetime destiny
But I warn you there is no turning back with me
With both pills in your hand what will you devour
The pill as strong as death or the one as delicate as a flower
One will free you and one will send you home
But if you take the blue pill the truth can never be known
I am the red pill showing you the wonders of the darkness
For it is for the individual if eternal night is eternal bliss
She is the blue pill that will keep you trapped here
Under a state of control and drenched in the feeling of fear
Whichever one you choose will be your lifetime destiny
But I warn you there is no turning back with me
A contest entry
- Music = Life. by Beautifuly.Wasted.
566 points, ended August 7, 2007, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Addictive Abuse by Abv. 01101001.
620 points, ended August 22, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~*Teenage Drama*~ by Rachel21.
327 points, ended September 29, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Songs, Songs and more Songs by Dark Soul Reaper.
360 points, ended October 25, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Black, White, And Shades of Gray. -Contrast- by sleepingINblackRain.
700 points, ended November 9, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Metaphores by q-pid.
850 points, ended November 9, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me some dark, cryptic lyrics.. Or make me wonder what the hell you are talking about! by Silversunshine.
600 points, ended January 12, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - JUST TWO DAYS TO REACH 1000 ENTRIES !!!! ( BE A PART OF THIS RECORD BREAKING CONTEST ) by Alex Hex.
300 points, ended May 1, 2008, 526 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the hardest thing is watching him i say i love you to her by HereComesTheSun.
900 points, ended June 2, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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just wow amazing poem i really like this becuase it repeated and it was great good job
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I really liked this poem. The flow, the idea, the rhyming scheme...everything was very well executed. Your word choice was great and the whole thing was really just a wonderful package. Great job.
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I like your theme with the red pill & blue pill.. That's very cool! I love your rhyming scheme.. I could see this being a great goth rock song!

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A very original and interesting metaphorical comparison you have concocted here, with your red and blue pills. Best of luck in the contest with this excellent poem.
David Michaels

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Very interesting... great write!!!
Good luck in the contest
/q-pid/
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Interesting take on from the pills to the choice of girl. Fresh, i enjoyed it "Her fingertips look like those of a corpse that’s been beautified
All those around her trying to make her seem alive"
I think those lines were magnificent, beautiful. For me, they made the entire poem.
The flow could possibally benefit from a few commas, but all in all it was a well written peice, thanks for entering.
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Hmm... it's good but not really what i was looking for. I'm not really sure what kind of music to put to it. Good write though.
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this is a good poem, like the metaphores, good job. thankx for entering
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This is a good write.
Sad in some ways.
Confusing in others
but alright.
good luck... -
Alright, I hate this. There's no good reason for you not to correct those mistakes. You're just being an ass. So I'm taking you out of the contest. I didn't really like the piece much anyway. Best of luck with your writing.
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I'm just going to point out a few grammatical errors.
L5 - You misspelled 'whore'
L6 - There should be an apostrophe in "can't" -
Great work
I really enjoyed this reading. I relate to it completely. Thank you for sharing it with the world.

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