hey baby..

Hey Baby,
I know it's over..& there's nothing i can undo..I'm sorry for everything..for fucking  up your life..where we can't even be in the same..well 100 yards..i want to be your smile..the reason you wake up..the reason that day turns into night..but i know thats never going to happen..i'm so sick of this baby. i really am..i mean it's been so damn long..and i don't understand why it has to be this way..i don't get it..i'm so damn confussed..i want so bad to be FRIENDS..if thats it..just as long as your in my life..i've never understood these breakups..makeups and shakeups.. it's never made since to me baby..it brings tears to my eyes..i know i should be over it..but you were my first love..& it seems like your gonna be my only love..and i don't want it to be that way..i want to be able to love again..love someone as strong as i loved you..but my heart has bashed..and beaten..bruised and lost. this isn't fair..i try to tell myself that it's all a fucked up dream..and i will wakeup and it will all be over..but it's not baby..it's real as hell..and the night you came over..the words i love you..never sounded so real. It makes me feel like you might really care..but i don't know..i mean does it hurt you to look at me..or is it that you can't stand me..what the fuck have i done..i dont get it babe..i really don't..i'm sorry that i love you..& i know you love me back..i fucking KNOW you do..call me crazy for holding on this long..but i know i am one not 1/2 of two..you made me fall again..and now im the joke..im the reason you laugh..
i'm sorry this is it..