Look at her sitting there
pen in hand, coffee cup near at hand
she sits and stares and writes away
I wonder what she is thinking now
She never writes about me
the walls that she never seems to see
a door that she always closes
as if to lock all else outside
I wonder what I can do to make her see me
I have such pretty designs painted on my walls
so lovingly done by the last owners
I wonder if she gets any inspiration from me at all
Am I just 'a room' to her, for her to pass her time in?
If only I could read or talk
I would know what she writes about
and I could tell her how I feel
I have a great big window overlooking a vast garden
and in the distance I can see a trickling stream
with ducks and lilies and all
the sun streams in to warm us up
Please Lady writer
spare a thought or two for me
I give you somewhere to sit and reflect
surely I deserve some more respect
Night time falls
she leaves her chair
where does she go?
Oh yeah, I think she has a bed out there somewhere
One day perhaps she will remember me
and where she wrote her way to fame
but until then
I can only watch and wonder what she is thinking now
Author notes
This is an anonymous contest so please do not use my name in comments. Good luck all. Written from the rooms point of view.
In a list
A contest entry
- the room i write in by truembrace.
600 points, ended July 20, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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thanks for comment and contest but I didn't think my poem rhymed at all and the word 'me' was spread about ...oh well we each see things differently no problem
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this gave so many vivid details and lots of wonderful thoughts in this.
I think I would have liked to have seen a few less of the "me"(s) in this piece, particularly where they created an end line rhyme. the rhyme sort of takes over the poem a bit when a few changes of wording would enhance the poem with none rhyme options I think. In some ways, the poem seems just shy of being finished for some reason for me - perhaps if it were just a bit more tight.
the poem in its entirety really is wonderful in showing this relationship of writer to room, a plea of sorts to be found through her words if the room is so lucky.
thanks so much for writing this piece and entering it into the contest...
Kim -
Great write. This piece makes me think of how important it is for people, especially writers to not be self-centered. I think it's important to think about others both we have known or maybe only read about both past and present or about issues in society. Interesting that it's in the point of view of the room. Keep up the great work.
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I love your take on the room I write in. So full of wonderful imagery and emotions. Excellent flow. Just amazing and very unique
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