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premature mother & child

I felt you crawl,
tinier than the pinprick they used to subdue me;
and I remember how I had felt

happy at first,
but later,
the sledge hammers cracked their weight into my skull

and my thighs melted

through the very floorboards you were conceived on.


I witnessed the bits and shreds of you
being pulled prematurely from your assumed
sanctuary,
and I wondered what kind of boy you would've kissed

and if you would've let me braid your hair;

but I turned away.
And I still walk around daily
wearing the marks that became me:


my hands gripping my face as your tears penetrated
through my squinted eyelids.

For a while,
I didn't dare to open my eyes when I had to use the bathroom..

And now I see your face when I look at my children.

Author notes

" Love isn't always enough"
-Ally Mcbeal


I can't find my favorite... but this will do

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    January 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Age 16 and you can write like this? Tremendous!


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, so powerful, so very very sad. Whether an abortion or incomplete miscarriage which needs surgical removal (I had the latter) this delivers a punch to the gut. Deserves publishing, absolutely. Congratulations.

  • ea silver member
    December 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    congrats, darling!


  • tinuelena
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is one of those writes that stay with you. I'm certain I'll find myself thinking about this at random times throughout the next few days.

    It's then that you know you have a gift with words, when you can touch someone in that way.

    Thanks for the entry. I'm looking forward to putting it in print.

    Elizabeth


  • TheDemonEve
    August 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    ....WOW

    This is very clever and macabre, and very heart-wrenching. This is an amazing poem, very well done.

    Best of luck and thanks for entering!


  • Atrophya
    July 31, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    WOW, THat was breathtaking and almost made me cry.... so fucking sad... I'm saving this.


  • love tank x
    July 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW.
    That's seriously all I can say.
    Gahhhhhhhh you're soooo gonna be
    the next Plath.
    No fucking doubt.
    <333


  • Confetti Fairy-x
    July 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    mm this is gorgeous... terribly sad. it was not over-explained and really beautiful...

    argh i dunno what to say. i do really really adore this.

    "I witnessed the bits and shreds of you
    being pulled prematurely from your assumed
    sanctuary,
    and I wondered what kind of boy you would've kissed"

    heart-shattering.


  • bird-mad girl
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really love this piece.

    It made me think of someone who's had a child and thinks that because they'll have something to love and live for that that'll make their life so much better. But it doesn't. They are still living the same way.

    This was stunning, but pastel. It was beautiful even though the silence was so sad.

    <33333

  • ea silver member
    July 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is devastating and so good. line 7 reminds me of the force others exert on us in these issues, be it doctors, parents, church, peers. "Your assumed sanctuary" is brilliant for womb, especially under these circumstances. To "wonder if you would have let me braid your hair" just really gets to me. "I didn't dare to open my eyes when I had to use the bathroom.." is all too real.


  • Hell In Harmony
    July 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    and my thighs melted

    through the very floorboards you were conceived on.

    FUCK

    this next line... IS FLAWLESSLY INSANE;

    and I wondered what kind of boy you would've kissed

    and if you would've let me braid your hair;

    but I turned away.
    And I still walk around daily
    wearing the marks that became me--


    GODDDAM

    !!!!!


  • Moonshinesuicide
    July 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh god this is so sad, its actually stunning,
    *wells up*

    love the line
    and my thighs melted
    through the very floorboards you were conceived on.


    but that thing about wondering what they would have been like *wahhhhhh*
    sobb
    this is beautiful
    xxxxx


  • blemished irises
    July 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "I witnessed the bits and shreds of you
    being pulled prematurely from your assumed
    sanctuary,
    and I wondered what kind of boy you would've kissed

    and if you would've let me braid your hair;

    but I turned away. "


    That part is so sad and beautiful. and the Quote is so true.
    ♥

1 - 21 of 21