the cold of night wont fade away,
its been cold since you left today.
though in the distance away you go
its in this time my love will grow.
the memory of you wont go away,
nor will the colour fade to grey.
for every drop of rain to fall,
my love for you out weighs it all.
though not here by my side to night,
for every feeling thats felt so right.
you are the feeling above that all,
it is this feeling my heart will call.
now and forever you have captured my heart,
you take it with you when we are apart.
know u can trust me as i trust you,
your all that i love that much is true.
A contest entry
- Rhyming Ramblings by piccola.
700 points, ended July 20, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - No work required for this contest. Prewrites only. by yoopea.
617 points, ended July 21, 2007, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write about almost anything you want. by TheDevilInYourHead.
430 points, ended August 23, 2007, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love by torturedsoul9876.
300 points, ended July 26, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 500 Entry Contest!!! ~BE EXTRA SURE TO READ RULES!!~ by kiwikrazi37.
1040 points, ended August 21, 2007, 131 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All You Need Is Love by xSweetDreamsx.
800 points, ended August 31, 2007, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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good
the flow was a little bumpy other than that it was fantastic very touching. I will have to read your others keep writing please i love your style -
A great read grand imagery along with a great flow makes this a very enjoyable read I know all to well about those memories that won't fade away great show of emotions just all around a well written poem
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loved it
this is a great poem and very well put together i could feel the passion in it . -
This was a good read. You painted a very vivid picture with your words. You also portrayed your thoughts quite well. A lot of emotion here. I am glad I found this poem. Well good and keep up the good writing.
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the memory of you wont go away,
nor will the colour fade to grey.
for every drop of rain to fall,
my love for you out weighs it all.
Beutiful... this is very well written
I can really feel the passion in the phrases
It also really has a nice flow to it
Great job!!!!!!
/q-pid/
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woooow... this poem is SO great!
Love it.. Kinda written in my stile...
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great poem
wow the flow of your poem was terrific just terrific you have a great way to put words together you made it sound so real like it was really happening. i have read alot of poems since i first came on allpoetry you have a great talent for wrighting poems you made me feel the poem. that's what i love about poems is when people make me feel the love of the poem. wow great poem your poem inspired me and gave me hope that i can wright something as beautiful as this one day. so thank you for your beautiful poem. once again great poem.
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solid write. it flowed, the end rhyme wasnt forced. This is a great poem, but i have a couple of suggestions just to challenge you a bit. English is a creative lanuage, how about using some words that aren't so common in our everyday vernaculer. Especially the words you used in the end rhymes, very common words that a lot of people use. I just want to challenge you to do something fresh. Something that makes me have to think over it. well anyways great write.
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This is very sweet. Some of the rhyming doesn't really seem to flow well with the rest of the poem, so you might want to go back and try to make it flow better. Also, I think the poem would be more meaningful and hard hitting if you capitalized some words, at least the word I. The grammatical errors make it a little bit distracting. Overall a good piece.
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Very sweet, the rhyming does seem slightly forced at times, but generally it's very sweet. There were a few grammatical errors, that could be updated, a few commas, apostrophes etc... but overall a good write!! good luck with the contests
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wow
i am awed, its well written and managed through out the course, good job. and keep up the good work man. like th epoem and could somehow some waht relate to it too. well done
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Aw, this is touching. Always nice, as a woman, to see a man that can express emotions. Wish you all the best in the contests and life and love as well.
Bella
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very good most of the time i hate love poems cause there genraic and blah but you seem to aviod that feel you can feel your emtion and your love while reading ah could of used some origanility but thats about it a very good write
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Well done. It shows a lot of emotion and it's something that many people can relate to. Thank you for entering this
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trust is such an important thing in a relationship. I like the way this ended...thanks for your entry.
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wow
This is really good your gurl should be proud...I love it
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Excellent write. Your girlfriend should be proud. Not every guy is man enough to express his emotions.
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good!
awwww this is so cute!!! really really good write and i love the ryming! keep up the good work!
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great write well done....
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