Champagne glasses tinted crimson
Blades of silver blood shot red
Sipping slowly at Grims ears
Wiping away scattered tears
Swirling in each drink we take down
A bit of pain with the sparkling chill
Death defined in a lovers quench
Killing love with this red tinted test
Dipping the tea bag leaking our blood
You licked away the last drop
Grinning shyly you laugh at my luck
Walk slowly towards the glass
I take a look at what use to last
A curled up child drenched in red flames
A hurtle of compassion there she lays
In pain and weakness I draw near
And see its me when I was young
The years in which my childhood was stolen
As he told me to sit and do as he said
Now today I hand him the glass
Fill it to the top with the blood he stole
Sip away my brother, take away the years
Emotions have no trace, their only fears
Author notes
This is semi different no real pattern but its a mix of a rhyme and a free verse..I like doing it but it has to fit....not to many people like it though....
This poem speaks to me its a short stroll into past memorys...
Loved the picture by the way
dazedXdesires
A contest entry
- Dark stuff by zochit2me.
425 points, ended July 27, 2007, 3 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ensnarement of Sorrow [ a dark poetry contest ] by gasolinequeen.
445 points, ended August 22, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GIVE ME SOMETHING TO PONDER by Swan song.
1000 points, ended March 22, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagery by angryelf6886.
350 points, ended April 5, 2008, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This is a very good poem I have just started reading so I do not know where it will place. It is dark in content and seems to celebrate that. But it is very well written. Good luck!
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hmm.. well I think you could describe blood and all that better than with just the words. It seems like it just needs a little sewing up-- you have some good thoughts, but I think they need more of a subtle connection.
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Very unique indeed. The free-verse rhyme worked well here. Full of imagery and I love the ending.
Best of luck
Becky -
a good dark bloody penning here with good unique imagery and metaphors...good luck in the contest
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clappys are very appreciated thank ya
I tried my best with this one and I wasnt too sure where it was heading but I love it
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This is...
a GREAT poem
I especialy LOVED the lines:
Dipping the tea bag leaking our blood
You licked away the last drop
those lines made me quiver inside
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the flow of the poem was excellent. whether it rhymed all the way or not as long as the flow works the poem works and the flow is great. keep sharing that talent with me.
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I plan on it! I wasnt sure how well this poem would come out simply because I knew when I started that I didnt want it all to rhyme... I was hoping the flow was as good as i thought it was
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