"What a lovely day," she said.
The sky was dull and gray.
There was no sun because of all
The rain-clouds in the way.
"Oh what a pretty dress," she said.
It really was a mess.
Potato sack, what's seen in that
Is anybody's guess.
"I have this dress all neat and pressed
The sky's about to cry
To mourn for me, oh what a lovely
Day it is to die"
And so she lay that dreary day
Inside her coffin bed
She closed her eyes out from the skies
And in a moment, dead.
Author notes
Broken Floorboards
A contest entry
- -4 Hours To Enter Your Great Writes in These Categories! Prewrites Welcome! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended July 15, 2007, 36 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything. by Andii.
600 points, ended September 15, 2007, 48 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Angthing Goes. What I Like Wins. by Nicotine Eyes.
300 points, ended April 8, 2008, 37 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry For The Wicked by Leanna-bean.
375 points, ended April 26, 2008, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and everything!!!! by Falcon SilverWolf.
450 points, ended June 6, 2008, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Everything you want! by xxvampyregirlxx.
490 points, ended December 20, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - big bang prewrites only contest by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 5, 124 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - .xx.tWiStEd.xx. by l o v e b u r s t.
570 points, ended July 7, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Judges View
love the rhyme structure.
the last line was amazing.
thank you for entering my contest
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the rhyme is very awesoem thank you for entering my contest and good luck in the contest as well thanks again
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for some reason this reminds me of Alice In Wonderland ... I have no idea why. Nice rhyme thank you for the entry
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Awesome write!
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wow this is wonderfully written. I agree with you it is all about point of view. What one preceives doesn't mean that the next person will preceive the same thing. This is an excellent write. Thanks for sharing this and thanks for entering it into my contest.
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yes i loved this so differen
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wow this is amazing and very deep...and oddly kinda scary...I really like this. Thanks for the entry and good luck!
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Kind of deep but not as dark as I would have like to have seen. This is still a great write.
Thanks for the entry though and good luck
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
All I have to say it wow. Thanks & Good luck
BabyLove--x -
Beautiful.
I love this. The rhyming was clearly superb. Good Job and Good Luck.
~Fallen.
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wow!! thank you for entering and good luck!
leslie -
wow this is deep and powerful
the insiveness in this write is so strong. i love the way you bring out the artistic imagery in this. you definately have a way of drawing in your reader. thank you for sharing such a gifted talent, and also thanks for your comment on my work.. -
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wow, thank you for your wonderful comment! And, your welcome, it was a great write.
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This was very sad and disturbing... I loved it though, as it spoke to me in ways that other writes haven't and I enjoyed the tone and surprise of how things turned out after the first couple of stanzas. Well done for writing such a lovely yet depressing piece! x
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