Emily is more interested in women, much rather than men.
She doesn’t know where it started, how or when.
All she knows, is that she was rejected in school,
Cursed and beaten and treated like a fool.
Is Sam a man or a woman? I don’t know which one,
She just might be both, or she just might be none.
His own father, threw him out of his home,
Now she roams the streets, cold and all alone.
Christi lost her virginity, when she was only nine,
Now men visit her, night after night.
They rape her and beat her, until she screams.
She had her first baby, when she was only thirteen.
Kevin is just a young man, but now his life fades,
All his loved ones left him, because now he has aids.
He can’t even speak now, he just lies in bed.
He doesn’t have much time now, because soon he’ll be dead.
But still they try, they try to survive,
Try to be steadfast, try to be alive.
They spend their whole day, all alone and sad.
But go to sleep thinking, “Tomorrow won’t be so bad”
These are the people, who make me want to live,
And make me keep the life that I always want to give.
Believe me everybody these aren’t lies.
For these are people who I truly idolize.
Author notes
This is what i think whenever im depressed, there are people with worse lives, and if they can try to to survive, so can I!! isn't that sweet?
Option 4
A contest entry
- Options!!! by Thin White Duke.
1050 points, ended August 4, 2007, 37 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Round One: Prewrites Only by katiethepirate.
330 points, ended July 23, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For Poets With 10 Trophies Or Less. Prewrites allowed by tawk.
550 points, ended August 2, 2007, 43 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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i haven't read better in ages........
and the topic u chose........how many ppl think about these thing??
a very small minority......
hats off dude!
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Thanks for the message! I came by to read, and found something that just knocked me over. This is beautiful. I agree with GoldMare on the third stanza. So sad, but it happens often. I'd suggest perhaps trying to find something different to rhyme there as that was the only anomaly that disrupted my flow.
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wow! it's quite touchy!....good work haan!
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Such a wonderful poem of survival. Wow this is amazing such emotions throughout. There is always someone worse off than we are somewhere. It makes you be thankful for your own life. Great write. Good luck and thanks for entering
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Wow, this brings up a lot of emotion. I love how well you've written a poem on this topic. Thanks for entering the contest and good luck!
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WOW! this poem is very touching, it is also very very true. Thank you for entering1
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This is well-written and well-rhymed. Although the third stanza freaks me out a little. I've heard of child-rape and all, but I've never heard of anything quite like this...? Have you read stories of this sort of this before? As for the overall message, I agree. If those people who can never seem to catch a break can find hope and happiness, then certainly those of us who live "normal" lives can do so.
And make me keep the life that I always want to give.
- Not sure I know what you mean by "always want to give"?
*dons the grammar police uniform*
For these are people who I truly idolize.
- It's "whom"
Also, throughout the poem you use commas to keep the rhythm, but grammatically they are mostly being used incorrectly.
e.g. "His own father, threw him out of his home,"
- That first comma shouldn't be there.
Don't worry, we can keep the rhythm in our own heads without the commas.
Believe me everybody these aren’t lies.
- Actually, a semi-colon would go well here, after "everybody"
Overall, good work! Best wishes in the contest!
Goldmare
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thanks so much for the help...man i had no idea i had so many mistakes!!
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Please put option number in Author Notes
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i put the option number! sorry it took me so long!
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