I see doves rise from an old pear tree
and hang (deep blue grapes)
on the high pergola of the moon.
I smile, knowing that my body with your body
is somewhere i have traveled, gladly beyond
all pear tree restrictions
not even the doves know such moonfulness
Author notes
Nicolette
"(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain,has such small hands"
~ E E Cummings
In a list
A contest entry
- search by CarCrashHumor.
800 points, ended August 1, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
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Edward Cummings has this affect upon people. In my opinion at least he was a worse and better writer than he is given credit, and his best work may not be his poetry.
I like your homage to Cummings with the compound word you invent “moonfullness.”
I shall have to come back and reread to consider what I think about opening with “I see”
“Doves rise from an old pear tree” seems to me a stronger opening, and I wonder why the “Seer” is given such predominance?
After opening with lines with “I see” and “I smile” why is there a lower case “i” in the middle of a line?
There are some beautiful images in the poem and a sense of a joy that lingers like a fragrance.
A. W.
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This poem is so beautiful and inspiring! I love Cummings as well, so I thought this poem was wonderful & reflective. Your words are so soft and lovely, and you can see the influence of Cummings.
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you have just put your hands into the beautiful color of my favorite words to read
I love cummings work.
to a point that he is the only author I will even read at times
he influences me almost every time I wrap my fingers round a pen (or push a key at the computer)
it's wonderful what you have done here
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Thank you so much...I love his poetry too - and I read and hopefully I'll learn..
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...doves, pear trees, and pergola, words incarnate with softness. Your poem smiles, I think I shall find a book by cummings to read. It's been while since I've done that...maybe because I can just come here and feel the wonder of your poetic genius. 
~ Karen
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Thank you, dear Karen - you should definately read Cummings.. I can but hope to emulate him!
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amazing job with this
you have certainly captured a feeling and its very intensity... great metaphor... I love "moonfullness"
exceptional piece!
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Gorgeous
I love cummings. When I first studied him at school, I didn't think I'd like him because of his deliberate inattention to grammar and punctuation, but the pure poetry of his writing won out.
I liked that you kept this simple and beautiful, rather like a cummings piece, but didn't resort to basically ripping him off. I love a good homage piece, but too often they're just inferior mimicries. Thankfully this is not.
The 'blue grapes' line was particularly lovely. That, and the last line - which made me think of 'not even the rain has such small hands'. Which I thought was a clever little nod.
Lovely.
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Esther, thank you so much for this lovely comment. I was limited to 10 lines by the contest I wrote this for but I'm glad you could feel something of Cummings here
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Adorable..."moonfullness". You recreate, and rewrites english with such softness. Were you the origionator of it then we would not have words such as hate and war I believe. Again, beautiful. I hope I am right in assuming...you wear love well.
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Thank you, Billie Jean...I appreciate such words from someone who writes love and life so well too
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Very fascinating...the vibe is so serene. It was even able to put a smile on my face.
Best of luck in the contest.
VIRGOAN
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brilliant. your poetry moves me before i even have a chance to think about it.
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Thank you so much...
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I definitely see cummings right there in the middle. That is one of my favorite poems..."somewhere I have gladly travelled beyond." Good luck in the contest with this lovely piece.
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Thank you, dear Zayra... With the problems I'm having with AP lately I can't even rate your comment...
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Beautiful penning! The spirit of cummings clearly in your ink
Moonfulness...lovely touch My pleasure to read ~Tia
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Thank you so much, Tia!! With the problems I'm having with AP lately I can't even rate a comment
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moonfulness is wonderful....
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you know my fondness for cummings and pears...lol
i like the change you made from "somewhere i have never traveled" to "somewhere i have traveled"
and the final line of this piece calling to mind the final line of the cummings piece
"...not even the rain has such small hands"
moonfulness is a great word, thanks for this entry...
al
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Thanks, Al...that is one of my favourite poems by Cummings too. And yeah, now that you're mentioning it I remember about your love for pears
!
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most of what i read of e.e. cummings feels like this and you have a wonderful balance which cummings flavored his poems with...decorated mindfulness wanders through his poems, enchanting the heart - - - as this poem does for me, poets rarely know such mindfulness.
blessings and best wishes,
~richard
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Richard, thank you for such a lovely comment, my friend - best wishes!
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So very much Cummings like. Got me to thinking about a line from one of his poems "my life will shut very beautifully". Very very wonderful reading so early in the morning Nicolette.
"moonfulness" extraordinary!
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Simply beautiful,loved the imagery,the coupling in another moment in time even if a cerebral flight,the poetess shows that it is the way to fly with finesse.
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Soft and sensual beauty that hurts. You are breathing poetry.
~Sonja~
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very much said in 10
a quiet sense of serenity
it's good i think to know more than the doves
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Thanks, bb...yes more than the doves!
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You have touched my heart with your breathtaking imaginings, brought to life with your penning.
"i smile, knowing that my body with your body
is somewhere i have traveled,"
...Sighhh!
Luscious Line, Poet. ~ Nicholas ~
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Thank you, Nicholas - you are most kind!
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I love "moonfulness", and everything between and beyond these gorgeous lines.
Best wishes in the contest, Nic.
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ahh yes... ripe and plentiful
tis the joys of the moon and fruited loins... beautimous
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Thank you, Gill - I so love the word "beautimous"...falls good on my Afrikaans ears!!
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perfect this is so perfect!
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this is really lovely, the imagery is delicious
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Thank you so much, Elaine...
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Have you noticed that when people comment on your work that they more often than not include one your own lines in their praises . . . that is because your words, your phrases have a way of grabbing the reader's heart and sending into states of poetic rapture . . . for me, on this one, I have to inlude the following . . . "not even the doves know such moonfulness" . . . breathtaking and stunningly beautifarkle!!!!!
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I mean "Marc"...sorry with the problems I'm experiencing with AP I can't even edit a comment!
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Oh I love that "beautifarkle", March!! Thank you so much
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"gladly beyond
all pear tree restrictions"
I just love that...this is beautiful...and your
imagery is always excellent
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Thanks, my friend...sorry that I can't rate any comments right now
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Wow, I love this poem, Nicolette. I like the imagery and repetitions and everything. The style does remind me of cummings, but it has your style in it too. I think that, if you could do a collaboration poetry with him, it would sound like this. And the nice thing is both of you are two of my favorite poets ever. But I've talked enough. I just liked this very much
~Diana
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Thank you, Diana... I smiled at that collaboratin with Cummings...wow!!
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Absolutely breathtaking my friend. Such beauty nests behind your eyes. Good luck in this contest.
~Lyrical
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Thank you, Lyrical.. I just wish I could change the background!!
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"and hang (deep blue grapes)
on the high pergola of the moon."
Sighhh...cummings would smile upon this journey within your eyes, my Friend. Gorgeous penning, Sweetie. Good luck in Al's contest. Vlindertjie
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Thanks, my friend...sorry that I can't rate your comment, but with the problems I have with AP I am so restricted
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's alright, Sweetie. I know ya love me even without the stars.
Your words need no background or pictures to frame their loveliness, my Friend...but yeahhh, I understand your frustration; you at least want that option, I know.
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