As I watch the rain falling down. . . Wishing you is here to catch my tears from falling with the rain. The Love I thought could be. .. Has shattered a crossed the ground . . . My hope of seeing your face once more has been shattered along with the love that could never be. When you lay awake at night, do you think of me? For I know every moment of the day I think of you, Like it's the natural thing to do, like there was no other choice but to think of you . . .To live my life without you, sounds like a nightmare never to escape my mind. As I stand in the rain looking at the world around me. I find peace knowing what you would say if you were to be here beside me. It starts to thunder I see the bolts of lighting striking the earth, or so it would seem to the naked eye. I find myself in awe because once again I begin to weep knowing that the song of my heart would never play for you to hear, never to dance in the songs of our hearts. I fall to my knees, my hands to the ground and begin to scream,
"Why, Why must it be this way?" As I, swam in emotions beginning to drown. ..The Strength of hearing your voice was enough to pull me out of a horrible ending of a young woman's heart. I realized that just hearing your voice was not enough to save my heart from breaking without you here with me, holding my hand through out my life. Life would be nothing of hope, or happiness, or even love. I would stand in ruins for all my days with out you. My Love for this man is not a foolish love. . My love for him shall never fade a true, honest emotion. For he is true so, I shall be true to him. For it's my hearts desire.
A contest entry
- even the wicked can love occasionally by unraveled.
450 points, ended July 21, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
WHat do you think ??- Tell Me whats Wrong with it ?!
Comments
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Its very easy to relate to nice use of your words. liked it
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Ok!
First I saw two points which I would like to make sure are right. In line 2, "Has shattered a crossed the ground " is "a crossed" supposed to be *across*. It doesent sound right otherwise. Also in "As I, swam in emotions beginning to drown" I think it would sound better as *swim* instead of "swam".
Otherwise a very moving poem, full of life and emotion. Good job. -
wow
this is a great expression of love and it being lost well done, thanks got entering it into my contest and good luck my friend!xx -
i think this piece is alright, although it could be improved. you used too many ellipses at the beginning (...'s) also you have some grammatical errors which you might want to go through and check. my favorite part is "why, why must it be this way?!" and the few lines that follow it. thank you for entering.
<3cassidy
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