a
coin
flips
in the
air -
solar eclipse
A contest entry
- The Shape of Haiku by azure85.
790 points, ended July 30, 2007, 41 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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a wonderful haiku with an amazing revelation in the last line ... congratulations to your second trophy in this contest, you are a great talent !
ps. although I am just a student of haiku, I wanted to share an observation with you, if you don't mind : I have learned that haiku usually needs articles, so maybe this haiku could read :
a coin
flips in the air -
solar eclipse
just an idea, and not to be taken for granted, of course ...
all the best to you,
maa
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really?
thanks loads for the info!! i never knew an article was important. more knowledge is always welcome and appreciated! thank you so so much! i value your inputs.
"although I am just a student of haiku"
i am no master of it either!!
bless ya loads!! -
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I have just finished an ap-class on haiku, so I'm still learning and observing ... but I do remember my (wonderful) teacher having edited all my haiku that didn't use articles
maybe you can get a second opinion on this subject by one of the more experienced haiku-poets here ?
lots of blessings to you, too ...
marion -
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ooh! neat! blue trophy looks cool!
who was hosting the class? i'll be sure to ask! thanks for switching my bulb on!
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Lotus Of Lakshmi ...
she is really kind and a great haiku-poetess ...
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oh ok! cool!
yes, she is. i've received a few comments from her before.
thanks for letting me know!
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I really like this, May. The haiku really works as to see the shiny coins flip in the sun, and the lay-out is perfect!
Best wishes in the contest!
Jo
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May?
that's not my name. 
though my old best friend's nickname.
you can call me runy. "runy" with a small "r". lol..
much thank you for reading! i really appreciate your comments. 
my pleasure you like it.
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Thank you for entering our workshop/contest, "The Shape of the Haiku." Good luck.
coin
flips
in air -
solar eclipse
Very nice haiku and it has a great "aha" moment at the end also. Very nice write. -
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thanks! glad you liked it!
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Very well done, I like this haiku. It has great imagery, and the toss of the coin in the air is great. Love those solar eclipses, thank you for your entry.
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thanks!
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awsome. very well written with few words. managaed to make an ordinary item into something else. well done
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thank you so so much!!
i'm very much honoured to receive your comments! thanks!
bless ya loads!!
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