How?
Why?
For what?
Questions speeding through the knot in my head.
He left me with solemn eyes.
I left him with sorrowful regrets.
He left me with an awkward frown.
I left him with accumulating tears.
I look out the window of my mind and see a glowing fountain
I look out the window of my mind and I see no reason to live.
I look out the window of my mind and see a cheerful hummingbird.
I look out the window of my mind and wonder how my heart continues to beat
The ring is tossed on the floor.
His picture I shredded long ago like he shred my life.
The thoughts of family pictures bleed my brain
Our wedding day was no more than a successful scam.
In this pit of hell I wave goodbye.
Like a sun that will never resurface.
Like the last breeze on a sunny beach.
Like a dying ember imbedded in a fireplace.
Tears of grief do no good but they always come.
My screaming echoes in the tightly locked padded room.
Yet, they can make out my grief though the poorly white painted walls.
The door unlocks and the pity less nurse makes me swallow the pill.
Broken and fallen to pieces.
Broken forever.
Pieces I will never find.
Author notes
I have learned that a broken heart is darker than a starless night. For me it is a true void of darkness.
A contest entry
- Standing Alone - Prompt Write - Make it what you will by Soten-Jaganshi.
400 points, ended July 16, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mental Asylum by RemovedName.
1750 points, ended July 30, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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wow this was amazing, It kept me guessing the entire time how it would end. I really love the intensity and emotion you put into this. It was so descriptive and i felt like a picture was deffinately painted for me.
And I can deffinately say that I've felt like this before. Just for future referances if you ever feel like this and need to talk im a GREAT listener.... Keep up the Great work!!
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this was great.
beautiful and heart breaking.
and great use of metaphors. :]
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Good twist with the sudden mental hospital image- "nurse makes me swallow a pill" bit- this poem reads like a cry of anguish and is well expressed.
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This was a good write. A lot a pain here. I enjoyed the lines "Tears of grief do no good but they always come.
My screaming echoes in the tightly locked padded room.
Yet, they can make out my grief though the poorly white painted walls.
The door unlocks and the pity less nurse makes me swallow the pill."
Well done.
All and all a very enjoyabe read.
Keep up the good work.
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Breathtaking as always.
I love the last three lines the best. -
wonderfull write.
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He left me with solemn eyes.
I left him with sorrowful regrets.
He left me with an awkward frown.
I left him with accumulating tears.
wow! this poem is amazing, i especially love this stanza. i love the way you decribe what the two people in the poem left the other, and the way they all flow together. a great write, i wish you the very best in the contest
lucy
xxx
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Many think broken hearts cannot be the reason for lost lives, but many refuse to take into consideration what the broken hearts causes.
I'm sorry for your loss, but be aware that your pen is a brilliant catalyst.
Well penned, my friend.
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