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trembling


          flutters 
          fumbles
    in the open blue sky
        f
          a
          l
            l
              s
        the broken wing

Author notes

broken wing- denoting the ordeal that lies ahead
no words required

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • Pollycheck
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering our workshop/contest, "The Shape of the Haiku." Good luck.

    flutters
    fumbles
    in the open blue sky
    f
    a
    l
    l
    s
    the broken wing

    Very nice. I like not only the hailu but also the concrete form. Good job.


  • azure85 gold member
    July 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I see your author notes, but I think you have good images also. Thank you so much for your entry, very good way to shape your haiku.