Tumult joins confusion
in my restless pacing mind,
trying to dig deeper,
Afraid of what I'll find.
Afraid of all the anger
that in this world prevails,
Afraid of what will happen
if the campainge of love fails.
Afraid of my not knowing,
in which camp I belong,
if i am good or evil,
if I do right or wrong.
If I am cynic, or am brave,
sarcastic or naive,
if I am fatalistic,
or too scared to believe.
Do I follow Machiavelli
or Martin Luther King?
The end justifies the means, or
lets let freedom ring.
Am I romantic?
Loving Glory?
To dramaticly defy?
or a pessimistic coward
with the motto: All must die
Afraid for Youth
And for this world
Which, someday, will ours be
and Afraid of this confusion:
the oxymoron that is me.
Author notes
Another Question: Do you have a better title?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
kokobird25
well, no i don't know what else i would call it. but this is VERY well written. even though i'm not real great at poetry, i can tell good from bad, and this is EXCELLENT!! My favorite part is actually all of it because it rhymes. it takes time to actually get a whole poem to rhyme and i admire anyone who can do that.
-
Great poem. I loved it. I wonder the same things sometimes.
As for a better title, how about something like "The Oxymoron That Is Me". If you want to use a line from the poem. Or you could do just "The Oxymoron".
Keep up the good work.
-
FransB
I am not going to indicate what could or should be changed or added - its your poem, its your thoughts and feelings. With a carefully selected 'few' words, you have indicated much - your'e the same time levelheaded. -
i dont think you any sort of moron ..actually for the first poem here it is really quite powerful..thank you for all your confusion. machievelli and luther king. you are well worth watching out for..best wishes ..peter
-
-
Thanx
We write very different stuff...
But i love your work, tho I could never create it...thats just not me. Anyway,thank you for it...
-
-
forgot...
-
I like this, the whole idea is inspiring, and interesting! You've done a good job here, feels like it's thought trough, and it makes me as a reader think. And I would say, a lot of people can recognize themselves in this! Well done.
I was just thinking if you should put another "I", in the "If I am cynic, or am brave," - sentece. Besides that, I can just say! Nice!
I think you've captured "The fears of a Fifteen Year Old Girl" so in that sence it's a good title. But I have a think for a bit abstract titles... but I find it hard to come up with them, so I don't have any suggestion.
I just say! Keep on writing! And welcome to AP! -
i really like your ideas, the last line is great too....i think it worked best when you stuck religeously to the rhythm pattern, when theres a slight hitch in it the poem loses its feet. (example: penultimte verse) maybe if you kept the rhythm for that verse then break it only in the last one....??
also soem of your wording is a lttle awkward (to make the line work with the rhyme maybe?)
inparticular : "Which, someday, will ours be"
favoirite verse is the fifth one, its great
you have real talent, especially for someone your age (dear god i sounds so antiqued and grannyish when i say that....not to mention cliched) but i'm sure you catch my meaning
take care hun xxx
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
