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Escalation

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Escalation

I am born of golden spirit,
Yet I was daunted by blackness.
I had the credence to fear it,
Being enveloped in sadness.

Yet I was daunted by blackness
and I raised my thoughts to escape,
the quagmire of darkened abyss
and disrobe the restraining cape.

I had the credence to fear it
and I had ascended with grace.
I caught a glimpse of your spirit,
your love; with escape from this place.

Being enveloped in sadness.
is now a vestige of the past.
I am consumed by your lightness
with our loving souls now held fast.

 

 


 

Author notes

Retourne:
Like so many other French forms, the retourne is all about repetition. It contains four quatrains (four-line stanzas), and each line has eight syllables. The trick is that the first stanza's second line must also be the second stanza's first line, the first stanza's third line is the third stanza's first, and the first stanza's fourth line is the fourth stanza's first. Retournes do not have to rhyme.

For Kristin

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • StarEyes
    August 2, 2007

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    Amera,

    OY! This looks massively hard! But YES! I think you may be right, I think this may be just what I am looking for! Thanks for the help. Now lets hope I can do it!!!!

    Great job from the form queen herself!!!!


  • JohnnyD gold member
    July 18, 2007

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    Cubbie dear,

    very nicely done, most...and I can relate as I have felt the darkness the last five years. I found one who lifts the darkeness but she cannot be mine, I know another who does, and could do more, but my own frustrations hinder that quest. I would simply love to be consumed by a woman's passion and adoration once more, to open my eyes and see lips which are mine alone. Will I??? I honestly don't know.


  • PerVirtuous
    July 16, 2007

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    This caught a nerve and made my spine tingle. What great thoughts! What great art to put them into verse. How lovely a muse you have to draw such work from you! I have to pace myself in these comments or I shal run completely out of superlatives!

    Three bunnies!


  • Desire gold member
    July 15, 2007

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    Gorgeous!!

    This is one Gorgeous piece You have penned and what a verse You have presented to feast upon!
    Yumooooooooooooo
    Love the form You have chosen and WOW!
    Takes the reader on a Journey
    What a picture to compliment also
    Love this!!
    Form Queen


    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • RedAquarius
    July 14, 2007

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    That first line is perfection. I just keep re-reading it. Excellent write altogether but that line is the pinnacle, for me.


  • soulfultia gold member
    July 14, 2007

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    Beautifully penned, the picture was breathtaking and your words cascade smoothly beneath, supporting it When I initiated the read, I thought, ohhh, a pantoum, and then...realized it was not, admit to sneaking down to check the form I have yet to venture into this one. I had to wait for my hair to grow back after I did my first pantoum before I could venture back into challenging structure You have made the form appear a gentle invitation to try Possibly a weekend project for me Lovely penning, just beautiful ~tia


  • Hetha gold member
    July 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! A Retourne. I like this form, and I love that you would use one in this contest. The content was descript, as well as deeply moving and emotional.
    "I had the credence to fear it
    and I had ascended with grace.
    I caught a glimpse of your spirit,
    your love; and escape from this place.

    Being enveloped in sadness.
    is now a vestige of the past.
    I am consumed by your lightness
    with our loving souls now held fast."

    You've certainly held my attention throughout the piece!Good luck in the contest!


  • hoodoolover silver member
    July 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Love this as I feel we are all born with a spirit of light, and darkness woos alot of us to its side, and what makes us stronger is our experience there and the strength to escape, blessings...Pennye


  • Whoochi gold member
    July 14, 2007

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    Love this line..."being enveloped in sadness is now a vestige of the past" Oh this is such a graceful, eloquent piece and of course the form is exquisite, impecaable...like you!


  • Tercil gold member
    July 14, 2007

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    Being enveloped in 'madness' is something I should put in mine in Eos, but here the sadness will do, heee, and this envelopement is all ours to ponder and to keep. Nice presentation, seems we are up against each other, gulp, should I be nervous or what?? Nice work again, Tony


  • Bohemian Complex
    July 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I loved how you cleverly weaved it into Pantoum form, and I found it to be quite and interesting read.

    Well penned, my friend.


    • Amera gold member
      July 14, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you; you're quick. lol, I just submitted it two seconds ago.

1 - 15 of 15