SNOGGO Is a Secret Agent

It was the last night of the much publicised Julio Iglesias concert in honour of Her Majesty the Queen of England.  No one knew how much Her Majesty adored the dulcit tones of the greatest Spanish export of all time till this very week, when the BBC in their ignorance decided to film every last nook and cranny of Buckingham Palace (Wonder how it got that name? Bucking ham?  What?) and had a sneaky peek into Ms Queen's bedroom only to find Julio Iglesias posters all over the wall and a diary proclaiming how much she adored him.  Of course the Queen was furious and had allowed the BBC access this time only to film Julio singing at the palace, any more snooping and that was it, heads would roll and her Majesty had made that clear.  Because security was paramount and the Queen did not want anyone finding out about her Granddaughters obsession with Julio's son Enrique to also become public, she had hired the best secret agent in the business to both make sure the BBC didn't go snooping and to protect the Crown Jewels from the guys from Oceans 11 who had robbed several casinos.  MI5 had informed the queen of this risk from Brad Pitt and George Clooney and the Queen had responded by putting up a big poster outside saying "THE QUEENS JULIO IGLESIAS CONCERT, ABSOLUTELY NO ADMITTANCE TO BRAD PITT OR GEORGE CLOONEY OR ANYONE FROM OCEANS 11"

Of course Her Majesty knew that wasn't going to be enough and so MI5 sent over their greatest agent... AGENT SNOGGO!

That very evening AGENT SNOGGO was guarding the front door of Buckingham palace (I bet I know how it got that name but damn you if I'm telling) and had struck up a conversation with a rather voluptious police woman named Sharon.  She'd told AGENT SNOGGO of various stories about her life in uniform and commented on how sexy AGENT SNOGGO looked in his black secret Agent outfit, often asking if he knew James Bond personally. 

The concert began, and as serveral members of the British gentry and one or two really rich people from America began to drift off to the sleepy tunes of Julio Iglesias and his great song "To all the girls I've loved before" there came a whirring sort of helecopter landing on the roof sound that no one took any notice of at all, not even AGENT SNOGGO.  "My word!" Sighed AGENT SNOGGO "No wonder that Julio Iglesias is so popular, he's a really great singer isn't he?"
"Oh yes agent Snoggo!" Gasped Sharon "His voice sends me into spasms of delight... can you sing as good as Julio Iglesias, agent Snoggo?"
His eyebrow raised in the manner of James Bond, AGENT SNOGGO began to sing along to Julio and sounded exactly like him, to the point that PC Sharon began to undress in front of him, ripping open her uniform and exposing her dainty white lacey bra underneath.  "My God you're a sensation!" she growled, and her hair strangely untied from her ponytail, and went all over her face.  "You can sing better than Julio Iglesias.. take me now you sex god!"
AGENT SNOGGO didn't think twice. It was tradition for the British secret service to get down with all the pretty ladies, and what the heck.. it was the last night of the concert so he wasn't all that bothered anyways... BUT WHAT WAS THAT DAMN NOISE?

Up on the roof Brad Pitt, George Clooney and a BBC cameraman jumped out of a helicopter.  George watched Brad and the cameraman put on their masks.  "Ok men, synchronise watches!"  Said George and put on his balaclava "Brad and I will nick off with the crown whilst you film everywhere... and expose Princess Eugenie as being in love with Enrique Iglesias.. go go go!"
And so they got in off one of those windows you find on the roof you know.. skylight.. yes.. so anyway they got in and proceeded to creep down the corridor towards the room where the crown jewels - the REAL crown jewels were kept, which so happened to be right next door to Princess Eugenie's bedroom.

AGENT SNOGGO meanwhile was getting down and with it, with PC Sharon, but he was not one for boring sex.  "Hey Sharon!" He whispered "Lets have a game of chase, how about it love?"
"Alrighty!" Agreed Sharon and proceeded to run like half naked or something all through Buckingham Palace, in all the grand rooms etc where portraits of previous kings hung in all their glory, watching their every move.  AGENT SNOGGO caught up with her no problem and because he was a bit of a daredevil took her into the nearest room to have-it-off.  They turned around and there right in front of them were the actual crown jewels.  At first both of them were like..over awed but then AGENT SNOGGO had an idea as to what they could use the crown and staff for.. if PC Sharon was game.  Turned out she was so he grabbed hold of the staff as Julio Iglesias began to sing yet another song that echoed throughout the Palace.
Sharon lay spreadeagled upon a nearby desk as SNOGGO wielded the staff in the air, when suddenly the door opened and in sneaked Brad Pitt and George Clooney who were immediately knocked out by the staff - and all this was filmed by the BBC cameraman.
Realising there was a security alert, AGENT SNOGGO and PC Sharon quickly covered up and took all the glory and credit for catching out the guys from Oceans 11.

AGENT SNOGGO and PC Sharon were later given the Queens honours, AGENT SNOGGO was given an MBE and made a Knight and PC Sharon was given something else off Prince Charles. All ended happily ever after thanks to AGENT SNOGGO!