SNOGGO's Attempt to Join the Red Arrows at RAF Waddington

Flying lessons were no problem for SNOGGO, who had flown several jump jets, warplanes and a spitfire already and shown off his great flying skills to several spectators at RAF Waddington Air Show in 2005.  Still it was a requirement of the RAF that if he were to be considered for a position in the Red Arrows he must indeed have a flying license.  He waited leaning against his assigned Harrier Jump Jet dressed in the standard jump suit for his instructor Mabel who was fashionably late.  He checked his watch and it had already gone one o'clock, and he was supposed to be in London for dinner with the then Prime Minister Tony Blair to discuss a top secret mission.  If Mabel took much longer he would have to delay his lesson and that could have serious consequences for the country.
She arrived, her hair all a tangle exclaiming that the reason she was late was because of faulty hair curling tongs that have curled her hair beyond reason and she had to try to straighten it but to no avail.  SNOGGO guessed that Mabel was actually Flight Lt. Sprocket the transvestite who was famous all over Waddington but strangely the RAF refused to acknowledge this fact.  Clambering into the aircraft she positioned herself in the co pilots seat and waited for SNOGGO to get in.  Once all checks had been done SNOGGO revved up the engine which roared and vibrated the aircraft unbelieveably but confident of his abilities they took of vertically as all Harriers do.  Mabel set about writing stuff down as the great flying ace SNOGGO twisted and turned and loop de looped all over the sky just like the Red Arrows, and he/she was very impressed with him.  "Oh Snoggo!"  She cried as he hovvered the agile Harrier over Lincoln Cathedral with great skill.  "You are the most amazing Harrier Jump Jet pilot I have ever encountered..." 
SNOGGO gasped in surprise as Mabel unzipped her jump suit and exclaimed "Take me now you TOP GUN!"
He gazed in wonder as she revealed she had sexy leather underwear on beneath her jump suit.  As a full red bloodied male of the British Empire SNOGGO could not help but look and as a result his attention was momentarily diverted from handling the sensitive controls of the Harrier as he considered for a moment what would be the best course of action to take in these circumstances.  In his head came the words "To fuck or not to fuck.. that is the question.. whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer a Harrier jump jet crash and have a shag or to fly this plane and thus by doing have no shag... ah this is the rub..."
It was no contest.  Though Mabel was the ugliest woman/man thing he had ever seen and would not look out of place on Jerry Springer, he let go of the Harrier and proceeded to rub his face in Mabels obviously false gigantic tits and utter the nonsensical word "ubbabubbubba".
And yes the Harrier he was flying swung wildly out of control, first hovvering vertically up and down it went, up again and down, and up and down many times before flying off in the direction of the Odeon Cinema on the Brayford.  Inside SNOGGO and Mabel were getting down and up in every possible way, She was in fact a He but by the time SNOGGO found out he was too far gone to care.  10 seconds later SNOGGO lit a cigarette leaving an exhausted and shagged out Mabel writhing on the front seat begging for more.
That particular weekend Tom Cruise happened to be in town and was signing autographs in front of the Odeon Cinema when this massive great Harrier Jump Jet arrived, the draught blew him right into the pool and everyone clapped because Tom Cruise is a Scientologist and they don't like him and would rather be Pastafarians and believe in the flying spaghetti monster. As a matter of fact John Revolting is also a Scientologist and he was there with Tom at the time but was busy praying to some aliens when Tom was blasted.

The Red Arrows were so impressed with this that they made SNOGGO an honourary member. Last we heard of Mabel, she was doing something with John Revolting - don't know what but its interesting to hear that John is dressing up as a woman for his latest film eh?