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(Crooked cocks at dawn, 4.54 paces) - A rudimentary study of bestiality and buffalo nickels




That was Sweeney on the swing,
singing
Rheingold and martyrs
the specks in little girl's eye
that gives father the urge to cry,

though you couldn't tell from the red suspenders
and his crooked smile,                  or
the lies he had piled out by the fencepost

where the wires led south and north at the same time.

"Hey, kid" he'd say when I went by,
"you got a smoke?"
and I'd give him my last one,
and a light. I was always going
by the house late at night
hoping for a last look
and I figured I owed him one.

I hadn't been back in a while.
I thought maybe that was him
bent over the grinding wheel
mumbling to himself
it looked like the knife had been sharp
since apple picking time
but I didn't stop to talk,

I was saving my words
and the flowers I had bought
for the long walk
down the fence line
where the world split
north and south
ages ago in a little girl's eye.

In a list

A contest entry

title from acme pseudonym anonymous, used by permission.

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • cvillelisa
    January 30
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    always like this one too.


  • Cat gold member
    July 31, 2007
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    ive read this fifty times- nuff said

    m


  • NurseChilly gold member
    July 28, 2007

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    This is the blood of it all... it has the edge of sharpness and it has the innocence of a child's eye and the vision...

    you are quite the visionary ... one day, i will be able to see your name in print and say.. I knew him when he was a strangeshapedguitar man...

    bloody marvelous

    thanks for entering

    G.x

  • tara wilson gold member
    July 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "I was saving my words"...
    and I do believe this line says it all


  • mononoaware
    July 17, 2007

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    ummm.... thank you. something good over a warm los angeles evening. it takes it away. er-or you take it away. thank you.




    but what of the apple-cutting knife? where did it come from?


  • ca ne fait rien
    July 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    As you can probably see I have read this loads of times and it has got in my head. Was it in one of the TSE Sweeney poems - that line about 'Ich bin nicht derderedre aber ich bin Lithuanie' because I was going to use it and couldn't remmeber the quote and never got round to fighting my way through the mess upstairs to fin d the book with the poem. Anyway Sweeney- everyman who is like Sweeney -yeah I spun that one round and round, and the north south line- well that has so many connotations for a foreign student of American history but also north south- yeah loadsa meanings, which I turned over and over, and in the end, there are the flowers and the railways and the specks in little girls' eyes which make fathers weep.

    Taste the dust here, it is yellow and eternal..


  • Mulefa
    July 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I worried it was going to be about a Sweeney Todd chopping peoples up into meat pies.

    Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd.
    he served this dark and a vengeful god.
    What happens then – well that's the play,
    he wouldn't want us to give it away,
    not Sweeney.

    I think the red suspenders made me worry that. They flashed up like a warning. Who knows, who knows. There's a lot of Sweeneys - and he wouldn't want us to give it away, not Lutey. You never give it away. Your plumes are tricky, they make people work for it, whatever 'it' is. I suppose the fact people can be arsed to, and want to work for it shows it's bloody good writing, but also sometimes when I cannot work out your plumes at all (which is quite often as I'm a thickie) I like to just sit and let the words wash over me anyway. I get tired of pulling pooms apart at uni, sometimes it's good to just let a poem work on you instead of the other way around.

    Ah the grinding wheel made me think of those bodies in the pie too.



    The little girl's eye is lovely.

  • cvillelisa
    July 14, 2007

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    I'm currently listening to A Song for Europe by Roxy Music you know that one? Art that song. Whew.

    Also. I'm me so I find I don't need to know things in order for them to reach me (I think that is because I Believe in Stuff and probably have little rationality in my own make-up)/

    Rheingold is bad beer isn't it? Or Wagner opera. And the only reason I know that is cause the other day when I heard about that poem that shall remain nameless in which everyone was going so crazy over to the point of a friend saying "Wager on Spinich" I went to listen to some Wagner cause all I really know is Tristan and Isolde. So who while it bothers me not that I can't be sure who Rheingold is or Sweeney is though I've seen Sweeney show up before in your poems ya know, Irish dude for sure though, I bet that for some that quasi-impressionist opening which sort of requires one open their mind and let the sunshine in -- hinders a few people from commenting from the git-go. Though thats simply a guess of course. And as previously mentioned, I happen to think like Eliot says "If I see a play and understand in the first time I see it; it is a bad play" -- kind of think the same for art in general who wants to be WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAMED. It is the stroke and the tease of Art which keeps me coming
    back. That was a big run on thing huh???

    Moving along he's a clown -- with his red suspenders a clown of what? A Poet Clown of course. What is piled by the fencepost but poems - Lies. Tricksy you.

    The daughter growed up. Backlit her figure seen from below the street. Looking, looking looking. Love the last stanza

    saving words for sometime later. Now maybe. Thats what I like to think. Not sure why but I do. Cause I'm real good at making stuff up and putting myself right there smack in the middle of that split in the world -- that happens sometimes in the dark. or when a poet writes.

    Please don't tell me how wrong I am. I don't want to know. I just want to read this over and over and fill in all the blanks with my own thoughts.





  • Grunts Girl gold member
    July 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ummm the picture... whose author page did it used be on years ago? mushikas? i dont know... i am stuck trying to figure it out cuz i have always liked the picture.
    ok.. now that my ADHD is shrinking....
    the poem....
    i went so many places here... but one place i went to was one of division ... a sort of unspeakable division
    enjoyed


  • myrataal silver member
    July 14, 2007

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    It is not only that which is said ...

    but that story between the lines, guided by brilliance of sound, visuality, character building, subtle feelings and the intriguing poetic narrative stirred by the word play in the title, recollecting a setting of past mutedness.

    The flowers for the grave.

    Yes.

    Sometimes poetry word the wordless in words not used.

    Love
    Myra

  • cvillelisa
    July 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply


    I'll wait a bit to tell everyone how good this is.



    Blood of the Bard - this blood Ed's. Mixed with yours now. Like Loot/Lute Brothers.

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