eighteen-year-old vishnu
in between lessons
pumps twelve-kg dumbbells
talks of calories over breakfast
how much ronnie coleman takes
and how much arnold schwarzenegger
what their workout schedules are
hauls big sister lakshmi’s big almirah
at her bidding
from corner to corner
single-handed
not as handsome as his pop
as mom often tells him
with a wink
so he won't feel crushed
facing the reality
but a nice-looking chap all the same
a wiry clean-shaven oak tree grimacing
as though in a bout of dyspepsia
which is misleading
has the best of digestions
takes the bull by the horns
for anybody
has more than three score friends I know of
some of them bodybuilders
others
sheer brains and wizardry
damn good chaps each one of them
bowls leg spin and googlies
mixing them with flippers
a stickler for style
with flicks and cuts and drives
or flexing biceps
the size of tomatoes
tapping the belly
stomach cuttings
can walk on hands and wriggle his ears
a great hit with all the girls
below the age of sixteen
his friend trivikram tells me
behind his back
uncle be careful
keep a watch
and don't tell i told
***
Author notes
vishnu is studying mechanical engineering
A contest entry
- Cheer Me Up... by 2lullabyhaven.
550 points, ended August 31, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pun In-tented by FelineMuse.
1125 points, ended September 8, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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A very sweet poem. Thank you for entering.
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Just a wonderful poem of a proud papa that was a delight ro read in every sense. Thanks for sharing your marvelous talents.
David
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Wow, this is somewhat of a teaser. thanks for submitting it into my contest. lol
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Of muscles. lumps and youth
Great poem mate. I raised 4 sons all big strong spunks and I used to think how useful they could be when they got older (and me too ) never worked out that way though. All the muscle and no time to help ... All I get told is what I dont do .. lol went wrong somewhere.
At least none turned out anyone's first (or second) best friend thank goodness.
Bazza
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are you serious that your children are called vishnu and lakshmi ? this is just delightful ! guess what's the name of my bird ... GARUDA !!!
you just make me laugh ... this is awesome ...
marion
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Sure, Marion, Lakshmi aged 25 is the big sister and Vishnu aged 18 the little brother. Venugopal means the 'cow-herd with the flute' who, in other words, is Lord Krishna himself. And the mother figure is Ambika, the mother of all Gods. Our's is a family of gods. Here we decide the destiny of the world, when we have time after worrying over more serious issues like keeping our ship afloat...I was wondering where Garuda had gone. Now we have located him. How is he? Used to like all sorts of nuts when in our service. Tell him about our affectionate inquiries.
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Your fatherly pride is showing, and what a wonderful object of it! My husband was a young body builder so I know all about Arnold's regime. This is a heartwarming poem, there is real joy in children and all relationships. Check spelling, ear-lobs? Minor quibble for a delightful poem.
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Thanks. I have corrected the error you have pointed out. My pieces always have glitches here and there because English is only a second language for me...This is where you can help me when you get time.
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Hi proud POP.
You are obviously full of the joys of parenthood and seem to have every reason to be so.
You say that this needs attention but I say that it needs very little.
Only one line had me pondering
swinging gracefully from side to full blast
and several lines had me grinning in appreciation of your talents.
a wiry clean-shaven oak tree grimacing
was such a complex mixture and yet seemed to conjure up a great picture.
Good work.
Jim
PS
do I detect just a little sadness over the clean shaven part?
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Dear Jim, I wrote this in a quick spurt in broken sentences recording the thoughts that came to my mind. As you said, the draft looks as good as it can get. I have added three or four lines, removing the line about which you said there is a communication problem...And, yes, I am not happy with his preference for the daily shave. But he goes by the advice of someone else in this matter.
Regards, Venu.
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I wish Vishnu well with his studies. He is lucky to have a mom that writes poetry for him.
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MOM? MY GOD! I AM A DAD...MUSTACHIOS, BEARD, FIERY EYES AND ALL!
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