My breath taken
By your presence
Fullfilling me, you make me so alive
Why is it just a rose dream?
Author notes
This was my first time doing this. Sorry if I messed anything up.
A contest entry
- 10/20/10, quickie time! by Avendesora Dreamer.
475 points, ended July 13, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do you think I can improve?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I like it! It makes me think of the times when I have awoken from a dream and been so devastated that it was only a dream. Good write!
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well you're brave
very very very brave
you attempted this.
lol
great job
Is the title messed up?? j/w
:]
♥
Brandi -
I like it~ some of the simpliest questions when dreaming... Good luck in the contest~ for your 1st one you did a beautiful job!
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Thank you, very, very much. I hope I can get better. The speed imtimidated me. lol
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not messed up, cute...I like to be reminded of what it's like to be around someone who make my breath stop...1 suggestion, though (for another time) if you can avoid using the prompt in the poem it often flows more naturally
thanks for the entry and good luck! -
the prompt: rose dreams
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