There is none in nature that serves to impress
More than you without your innocent dress
Me planning my counter in this game of chess
And soft is my skin on your skin
Soft even though thought a sin
For your hand doth not wear a ring
While mine Eros brings.
Tense, I feel you under me
Tense but willing to agree
And correct is to say these walls feel paper thin
That has reduced their density, this spring
To the thickness of a butterfly wing
I think it impossible the world is not hearing
Your nervous yet calm breathing, so completely endearing.
Still with all rapture imploring
My hand is steady and calm in exploring
This same hand bent of creation
Full of my inspiration
Takes its place in the warmth of your breast
Seeking to confirm such a conquest
And finally feeds from this reality's attest.
My eyes in yours and yours in mine
Your hair making my bed a shrine
Then your silence says it all
There is too much in this enthral
Humidity of eighteen years
Erase your sworn fears
We now have our mold of you and I.
Without attention paid to caution
I go forth to claim my plunder
And let slip your sound of thunder
That open my gate to free this ocean in wait
And prove my queen, that in our game of chess
There is none in nature that serves to impress
More than you without your innocent dress.
Author notes
This is my attempt to put in words the passion in love making. This poem is the complete antonym to my "every little bit of nothing" poem. I used a very little symbolizm which which makes it even more diffferent than " every little bit of nothing". THis poem has been in the making for quite some time but i couldnt find the words to achieve my goal of creating a poem about making love without being vulgar in the least bit, it simply isnt my style to write "fuck" in my poems, in the end I am extremely happy with the end result. hope you enjoyed
A contest entry
- Give Me A Piece of You - for the MEN Only by StormGoddess.
740 points, ended July 30, 2007, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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this a really descriptive piece, and you use clever imagery and metaphors within your piece. i love the chess reference, and the rhyme and flow is really very good. congrats on your bronze, and best of luck in the other contest
lucy
x-o-x
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I find it very impressive for the content and the flow, the rhymes sound great, though they are mostly -ing, and -ion, rhmyes, it still created a flow that was so smooth that I almost didnt notice the rhymes at all, the use of internal rhymes too helped with that, though I can see after going back and actually looking for it that your rhymes pattern changes quite a bit, from abab to aabb, ect... as well as a few spots of no rhyme lines, however like i said, the reader should be looking to the content and the beauty of the words, so mixing it up actually works, I think, better in this case and really highlights the passion behind the writing. fantastic job my friend. -Jacen.
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Remembering
Seems only yesterday that I did it for the first , fumbling as she waiting with a nervous patience. Took me back there ya did
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I really like this and love how you were able to write it without making it vulgar at all. The flow of it is wonderful. This is a great piece.
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The endless amount of rhyme caused a really sensual flow, you seem to have finally gotten the words down right. It holds its good bout of originality and yet tells of something so common that many people experience. Very amazing write. Good job.
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Your passion is felt because you describe it so well.
I also loved your rhymes so much and I enjoyed this.
Never knew you can look at chess from another angle.
Marvellous! -
Excellent use of metaphor, creating a very visual piece of art. Thank you for entering and good luck Storm
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this is amazing, a true representation of the high standard of work displayed on this site
i like very much, the uswe of a chess game, something tha requires skill and thought, is a welcome change to these 'and i bent her over the sink...' fuck poems.
the depth here is immense i liked it ^^
*claps enthusiastically*
x
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you did well
love making is fun,challenging and most of all poetic if you know how,good over alljob in this,good luck,PM
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Nicely done
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man thats awesome... i actually met a girl not too long ago and the whole way we met and all i compared it, in my head, to a game of chess... the back and forth, give n take before final collision... i love it.. i'll read it deeper later, kind of in a hurry
peace dude
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This a very lovely poem and enjoyed the read, I don't think I ever look at chess again the same as I have in the pass because this was so very intresting and sensual. You done a hell of a job on this beautiful piece of art..your talent is shining....novy
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