moments rush past like
droplets of rain streaming along
the surface of a passenger jet window
they arose from crystalline seas,
deep lakes, and grimy street puddles
to attain the status of cumulus
I watch them speed away (unfelt, untasted)
falling back to earth
but for a time
they were a part of the sky
In a list
- VERY FAV poems by Everwind Rising • next in list
- Thoughts • next in list
- Poems Spotlighted • next in list
A contest entry
- Quickie Pizza @ PIF Parlor 10-20-10 by ten thousand cicadas.
650 points, ended July 13, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I clicked something on my page about the Poetry of the Month fir February, and found out interesting things about you, anyways, what concerns me more is the recommendation at the end of that page is this writing...
I was curious so I checked this out, and as I've read this, I found myself saying "Ah... So that's why...", You're such a great poet, to think that you just painted quite a perfect picture here...
It's more like a canvas, being shown in museums, heh, sorry for too much appreciation I have in here, but you know, imagery is really not my forte...
So overall, I enjoyed reading this....
and hey! Keep writing...
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You know this is good... so all I have to say is: -
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congratulations on both honors of gold cup and poet of the month. your poem reeks grace and truth. thanks for sharing.
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This is utterly divine! I am so glad to see that you won poet of the month!! Keep up the beautiful work......You have incredible talent and thank you for sharing it with us on here!!
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After reading your advice on writing poetry, I can conclude that you plucked this piece out of the residue of the newly fallen rain in the early hours of the morning
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brilliant.
this was very clever. love the images include, message portrayed -- everything.
you are very talented.
& congrats on being poet of the month.
:]
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It's a rather hopefuly poem, and the two end lines are just beautiful and sum it up in a kind way. I don't know about the tense changes from 'rush' to 'arose' but that might just be my inability to understand it!!
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Some beautiful wording here. I can really see an image in my minds eye of the rain drops....
I love the second stanza, a nice choice of adjectives, the words 'crystalline' and 'sea' i wouldn't use together usually but in this context it works perfectly.
An excellent write, very well done : -
Congratulations on the Golden Chalice...
What a wonderfully reflective poem on existentialism! 
Thank you for sharing your muse's many talents with us. You truly deserve all the honors and recognition - and much more - as this sampling of your creative work is a masterpiece, Poet!! Keep that pen flowing!!! Peace, xx Cyn 
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well
a very emotional piece of writing saying to me that our [my] world is drifting away right before my very eyes.
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Wow! I just reread Flight. WOW! This is really quite mesmerizing. The range of emotion in such a short time is what really strikes me heavily. I feel such melancholy and disappointment in the middle and then the end makes a complete turn around and you are left with the feeling of "ya know, life is good." It is an extension of the whole "moments" conversation. It really is uplifting at the end. Thanks again for writing this!
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Wow Brian this is just fabulous. You have used such unusual yet stunning imagery in this.
Congratulations on your well deserved gold
Gaylene
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This is so beautiful, so many emotions flowing within the words choices you selected. Congrats on the gold!
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Opportunity well absorbed!
Great take on the condensation angle of life - and you didn't miss a bit when your admiration was fufilled!
Good Luck in the contest!
Tang
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Wow ~ That from the prompt~ totally different~ Nice job! Good luck in the contest.
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This is great! I love the feel and imagery of this piece. Excellent job! Best wishes to you!
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Wow wow wow! This is an incredible take on the prompt, the fleeting and often unappreciated beauty in clouds, what a great write!
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Gasp!!!! What an impeccable simile you have designed. It was so very visual for one but the way you infused such varied emotion into it was remarkable. I love all of the different TYPES of moments you have mentioned from the various water sources below. I thought that was genius!! You affect such strong emotion with the parenthetical "unfelt, untasted." It's just rain, but somehow, I felt such sadness and void. At this time in the piece I was thinking, oh, what a marvelous experience, but a sad waste of it. But then, you changed the perspective again with the last two lines, "for a time they were a part of the sky". Honestly, that made me want to cry. It was kind of like that old saying, "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I love what you have done here. Excellent, excellent job!
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