Kneeling she gathers forces of water
and calls a malefic wind to carry
her gift across dry expanses below.
She uses her own tears to form drops
of compassion she sends forth as rain.
Raining mercy on all living human and not.
She arches back in agony, determined
to continue as the Angel of Drought
sends his opinion slashing across
her back in bolts of white lightening.
A contest entry
- The Angel of Rain by Ted E Bare.
300 points, ended July 17, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Eloquence in Brevity by RatherImaginative.
1400 points, ended July 31, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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We need some rain angels here - have the hottest July in history in Alberta - got a bit of rain last night, first time in three weeks - a real heat wave here. Need more rain - and these rain angels. Liked the message you share in these lines.
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Love the imagery you used, especially in the last 4 lines! I liked how you have the angel utilizing something potentially bad to bestow her gift on the masses. Just my opinion, but lines 3-6 could use another word or a bit of punctuation to help with clarity. As they are, they appear a bit run together. Thanks so much for entering my contest!
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She sounds like she is tough and can handle anything as it seems like she is trying to protect everyone from harm by sheltering them through her tears. This can almost be made like a comic book hero of some type! I want to thank you for entering my "The Angel of Rain" contest.
Ted E
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O.O
Violent images -
oh wow i love this one, i love the description very peaceful.
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