When I passed this way before,
rushed by deadline, and blind
to sincerity, lacking time, error-
prone, pre-judging and unkind,
I skipped as inordinately long
your 'diatribe,' for such excuse
did not appear so arbitrary.
I have suffered others as profuse,
politely called them "ordinary."
Hasty decision just plain wrong.
What caused me now to heed
its silent call? It beckoned,
stopped me here truly to succeed
with words that correspond
with my own unwritten song.
It rang the bells and painted skies
in colours seldom seen by man
and describing what mocking denies
by never having enjoyed sylvan
congruence so beautifully strong.
Author notes
Sometimes a comment is hijacked by my Muse, and prose disappears into what really matters. [Note the use of enjambment.]
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I can relate to this too, how my patience is not as long sometimes as the poem before me, but later a second reading rewards many-fold. My own mood seems to determine whether I find a poem trite or profound. Your rhyme is fitting and I like the echoes on "long" in the fifth line of each stanza. I missed this when I was on vacation last year; it is still germane.
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This is an excellent poem ...
and would be perfect in a contest on reading other peoples' work and actually paying attention, as much as getting an insight into how your mind works. Very nice and very nicely done.
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I really owe you one!
I had forgotten this poem existed. It was a REPLY, where I did not even intend to write a poem so I can not personally take credit for it. My muse wrote it, and as in all of that type, that is the draft, not edited. Muse is a formidable force!
Further, in the Winklings Grammar Group we were discussing that one of the members has just discovered she HAS a Muse too and it makes writing so easy! Right ON. This poem will help describe it.
Most of all it addresses the loss in thoughtless replies.
Thank you very much!!
Terry
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Oh, indeed, we do miss so much in our rush to do what we think is important, o what the word thinks is their important need of us. This is an important poem in that it is quick to remind us is that, what is important can not be denied....by bell and painted skies.
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Thank you! Sometimes in our hurry, the hurry takes over, filling far more hours than they should! And now school is in again -- Where else does the time hide? I needed reminding!
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I noticed the enjambment...
- I was going to comment on it even before you mentioned it. It is true, that reading requires inspiration (whether human or muse) as much as writing; if you read something in the wrong frame of mind, it can make you a 'worse' reader than you would be normally. When I was at school, a teacher told me that a play, poem or song is only half complete; the reader/audience/listener completes the work with their past experiences. If someone is in a closed-minded, sarcastic frame of mind, they lose out on the experience of reading.
If I were to make a comment technique-wise, I'd say that the second stanza is rather 'wordy' (that is to say so full of polysyllabic words that it becomes a but tricky to read at the same speed as the rest of the poem, which has a quick pace). But maybe that is just me; a very detailed and sincere 'comment'. Writing about writing is great, and I enjoyed this version.
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Polysyllabic?
Polysyllabic is a great word, it is what it means.
It's funny about that, though. To me, the ones in stanza 2 were ordinary! It has vexed friends all my life from around grade 4 on. Valid point here though, and it is hard to change lifelong habit. *sigh* It really is not what I try to write. (You would not enjoy where I do! I wrote a senryu in three words, once. Have you ever even seen a seven-syllable word--that even made sense?)
Language has always fascinated me.
Thank you for this. I'll bear it in mind in future!
Terry
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sometimes muses find their voice and sing out strong...
proudly within that imagination where a heart finds solitude within it's own past...
never letting us forget
that the poem matters most!
Well said.... well written!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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Thank you Bill! I really appreciate your supportive remarks, especially after the drubbing I took concerning any mention of my muse. Counterproductive, wasn't it?
It is always clearly evident in its tone where Muse took over, and I rejoice that it happens!
Terry
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Wow
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