I tried for years to fit your mold,
to make the grade for you.
Daintiness never fit my style though,
it just never rang quite true.
Prim and proper, all the stops were
pulled, until they stretched too thin.
Wild and crazy doesn't phase me
in the present mood I'm in.
I'm a rebel bandit, searching for a cause.
I've really got to hand it to you,
you always drew applause.
On the road for one more show
the end is oh so near.
Or so it seems in my troubled dreams,
that house your deepest fears.
Mommy dearest, oh, how you’ve shined
for all the world to see.
Every movement polished and refined,
bowing exquisitely.
Meanwhile, backstage, I was the rage,
an underage buffoon.
Clowning endlessly for attention,
generally acting like a loon.
I'm a rebel bandit, searching for a cause.
I've really got to hand it to you,
you always drew applause.
On the road for one more show
the end is oh so near.
Or so it seems in my troubled dreams,
that house your deepest fears.
So mom, I followed your advice,
but in my own demented way.
I’m on the stage almost every night
But unlike you, I enjoy the play.
I’m a diamond. Ground to perfection,
brighter than a star in a cloudless sky.
I am finding, my own direction,
I can reach beyond the pain, I can really fly.
I'm a rebel bandit, searching for a cause.
I've really got to hand it to you,
you always drew applause.
On the road for one more show,
the end nowhere in sight.
Or so it seems as I make new dreams,
full of love instead of fright.
Author notes
When you put out the challenge of not rhyming unless you could--well, the song came into my mind! I played a little with the mommie dearest theme and finding her own way to discovery, despite her upbringing! Hope you like it!
A contest entry
- Say What? Picture This (Pic Inspired) by HeavenScent4U.
850 points, ended July 23, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow....this is a real thought provoking and emotional write...I like this:
"Prim and proper, all the stops were
pulled, until they stretched too thin.
Wild and crazy doesn't phase me
in the present mood I'm in".
I liked the part where you say "In the present mood I'm in" lol That was classic! Loved this and can kinda relate to it as well...Nice job!
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Wow. This is very well done. I would love to hear this to music. A pleasure to read and enjoy.
~Pamela 
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nice
because I know you this makes much sense. -
sorry for the typo
grammar
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this will be my judging system:
total 100 points
presentation: 1-20
spelling & grammer: 1-20
originality: 1-20
how well you handled the prompt: 1-20
overall: 1-20
so please look over your poem and mae sure you did your best with these catagories and feel free to make changes befor i judge. again, best of luck to you and do not rate my comments or message me until after contest is jugded. thank you. be well and be blessed
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wow, i really loved this i think you did a wonderful job but i want to tell you right upfront and not being mean here but i think the rhyming went very smooth and well up until the last 4 lines of the 5th stanza and then it kind of just didn't go as well, maybe like the lines were too long, too many words in them??? I'm not going to hold that against you though (although i do wish you could fix just that part of your poem before the contest ends) because the poem itself kicked ass
so descriptive and full of emotion, wow, the take you took on this picture was brilliant
please do not rate my comment or comment me back until the end of the contest to keep this anonymous. thanks for entering and best of luck to
you. be well and be blessed
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