Just the wave of a hand
He said slow down, stop
Lets just start over
I know I've been gone
It's been too long
Take my hand and come down
I know I've been a ghost
Haunting your thoughts
Hiding just out of sight
I'm here now
Sitting on this white mare
Ready to fight back your dark
I smile and exhale
The words stab at me
Doesn't change the fact
I say just turn around
Go back to whatever it is
You pretend is light
Abandoning me again
I'm sitting on this rooftop
Waiting to fall
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Great!!!
Your poem came through to me after I read it a couple of times. I get the sense that you are looking at direction and and whether the direction is yours or from elsewhere.
I felt this more than understood it at first, yet the more I look into it the more it seems to me that you are at conflict with the polarities within.
I say to you before I go, get a bungee cord or a parachute ... Rich.
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Ironically I am terrified of falling from any height and even a parachute wouldn't save me from hyperventilating I imagine. That really wasn't the direction I was aiming for on this one but I suppose you have described me fairly accurately.
PS Thanks for the save on my author's page
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I really liked this - nice emotional range, loved the way it flowed. The sense of abandonment at the end...very moving.
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hmm very interesting. I like what I've been reading of your poems. This is another interesting one. You pack a lot of emotion in. Well done.
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I feel for you
All of your writings reflect the deep pain of a broken relationship, or what was thought to be a relationship, and you're having a tough time getting beyond that break. My brother-in-law went through this, or should I say I went through it with him. It was tough on both of us, but today he's bounced back into the full mainstream and enjoying life!!! If you need to talk with someone, I have big ears and no mouth!
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Very nice write, I agree with vergil the fallen though. You do portray your basic thought process but it would be nice if you could very your vocabulary a bit. I really like to use http://www.m-w.com/ which is websters dictionary and thesaurus.. it really helps with the writing. The battle between good and evil is in all of us- I wish you all the best in your war.
. Rewarded 6
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nice
i see some good oringaility and some good spark kinda of lacking on the vocb side but really good conveying emtion and getting your point across i love how you started in like a love poem and flip floped and least thats what i got from it
I say just turn around
Go back to whatever it is
You pretend is light
brillent i will be here to read more works on day keep up the good work
. Rewarded 8
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this is great i can relate to it..
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gr8 poem i enjoyed reading this, i especially love the last and first stanzas, ther very powerful and create an alluring beginning and a fantastic ending. well done keep up the good work xx
. Rewarded 4
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inersting
good i like how you took a well known plot and made it into a real story. however i dont understand the last line "waiting to fall"
. Rewarded 4
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