That day so long ago,
a day never forgotten,
sitting in a cafe, a cup of joe,
wondering if she was rotten.
Who was she?
wait, was she me?
I can't remember.
Was it in December?
Was she august?
No, not she.
A mere commoner
was me.
Lost forever, a sea
of Night. Maybe to be
reclaimed by a person
of Light.
None there knew the battles
alone she faced.
Night prowled, stalking its prey.
No way to escape, pain the route?
Couldn't get help,
no friends to turn to.
Black Sheep of the school
laughed at to her face.
None would believe that troubles
plagued her night and day.
Happy-go-lucky, with a smile for all.
Her life is not bad.
How wrong were they.
One day grew bright
after, yet before, school
why not change people?
So she did.
Messed up on the way,
broken mother's heart.
Nearly killed family by her decision.
Not meant to hurt, or to kill.
Cast away by those she loved.
Never again to laugh with
those she'd loved.
Broken hearted girl, so far from
"Home"
She died alone,
with a cup of joe.
Written July 13th, 2007
A contest entry
- Show me your talent! by Beating.
1000 points, ended July 17, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Phoenix by vierna.
600 points, ended August 1, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write-a-pal-ooza by Nicole Hanna.
300 points, ended July 8, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any honest criticism is welcome.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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so sad and beautifully written...yet the resolution seems to be her death... I was looking for resolution of the pain into light and positive...I hope that this doesn't seem as it's the only option for you. message me, if you like, or if you have questions. K?
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"One day grew bright
after, yet before, school
why not change people?"
I love those lines. This is such a sad poem. It really speaks about how so many teens are alianated in this world. -
Really Good
I like it. Awsomly written. Keep it up
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*Nods*....I understand this poem, and I enjoyed reading this write, but I am not sure if it relates to my contest in the way I wanted it too. "Death of a loved one"
I did enjoy this write though, and thank you for entering.
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I get that. I wasn't sure either, but who I was had been loved, and she no longer "exists." If you DQ me I get it. No hard feelings.
~*~VampQueen -
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Yes...my apologies for DQing. I really di enjoy this write and if it were under other circumstances, I am confident in saying that you would have got a placing.
Thank you for entering it though and maybe I will see you in my future contests.
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Don't Worry about it. It happens.
Feel free to read other poems of mine. I welcome honest criticism. Thanks for the chance.
~*~VampQueen -
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*Nods* I shall do so, And I see your writes are very interesting...I also, welcome contructive criticism on my works. If you so wish, please view some.
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