"Flood the idiot considerates, the fragrant family flaws
cycling in their dependancies, grasping with their paws
trying to hold you back, in their matted ingrown tones
slipping in their falacies, chaining you to the home
Flood the mass conglomerates, the emaciated wealth
dedicaated to the petrilent, castrating themselves
trying to hold you back, in their economy of faith
slipping in their niceties, to make you feel safe
Flood the trite hysteria, the all pervading truth
surrounding you in your senses, making you feel all aloof
trying to hold you back, in their fractional reality
slipping in their travesties, to make you look like me
My first up here in a while, be gentle, im tender
Comments
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wooo first post!
Hmmm I did tell you ages ago that I'd comment... so here goes lol... bear in mind I haven't written a proper comment in ages hehe
As always your rhyming is good. I like the first stanza in particular because, well, families suck sometimes. Well the whole thing is good but I guess the family thing is closer to me. Anyhoo, I like, can't see any problems with the writing except you started with speech marks and didn't put any at the end and a spelling mistake in the second stanza ('dedicaated')... I'm being picky now lol
Rosie x
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