Dear David, I do not deserve your love;
I’ve put you through so much, it’s so unfair.
I know at times it seems I do not care,
but, you’re my one and only turtle dove.
My Dear Sweet David, how I love you so,
I love to hold you oh so tenderly,
but guilt and pain behind the mask of me,
Makes me feel I am your greatest foe!
I wonder often if you feel the same;
If only I could see your heart like mine!
Perhaps, you’d let me peek, if so inclined…
Don’t worry, I’d be gentle- Oh so tame.
If we could see into each other’s souls,
All guilt and shame I know it’d overthrow.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Wow! That David must be lucky for having such honest, heart warming love as depicted in the poem. Even Zeus would be jealous for many claims a love that's true, but in the end they just bring nothing but blue.
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This adorable! sweet expression of genuine love... a simple yet very effective piece of writing that comes across as effortless. I love the line: "if we could see into each other's souls" there is a longing in those words that reaches right to the heart of your reader.
Well done!
~Katie~
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simple- oh my- do you know how much effort it took for me to make sure my meter and rhyme was right on this, lol- I wish poetry came 'simple' for me.
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Duana,
I did not mean you had written a simple poem meaning it was effortless.
I meant the simplicity and purity of your expression of love really shone through.
I have never been very good at expressing myself, I am so very sorry if I have upset you Duana, because of how I worded my comment on your poem.
I would not do that for the world
It is obvious you have put much work into your poem and I have great respect for your work and the zeal you put into what you write. I remember being in your class trying to learn about meter, you helped me so much through that class work, I shall always be grateful, again I am sorry my comment upset you, it wasn't meant to demean your effort in any way.
~Katie~
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A delightful read. It's simply adorable. You held the form great as far as I can tell.
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Drat I would have given you five stars but your comment is too short, lol.
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delightful- I like that word to describe this poem. You are right- it describes it much better than the word cliche. I knew cliche wasn't really what it was. Delightful is definitely it. Thanks. Duana
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a lovely piece of thought, seems to me more real than many of the pieces i've read on this site. nice on duana!
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I really like this poem I think it flows very nicely and is well expressed! Thanks for sharing
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I liked this. O so touching like music to the ears.It was so heartfelt.Is this about someone you know. I liked the realness to this and the way you poured out your feeling.It was longing here.The feeling of true love. i really enjoyed this."if we could see into each other's souls,All guilt and shame it'd be overthrow.Love this line.good job
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