winded insects and dusted petals float around
surrounding the atmosphere, it's just me & you
fiery bloodshot eyes turn to grey
i open my eyes and you were gone
clear skies reduce the wind at night
we watch the stars, shining and bright
fields of wheat bristle our hair
as insects crawl up our pants we laugh
thinking of angels creating those stars
slaving and bleeding with broken stained wings
hands lacerating from shrinking their sizes
faces burning from the intensity of the light
I'm dripping of blood as I watch you with her
hoping I could fall onto your arm
bondaging my hands I cry in white
i'm missing you... but you could never know.
Author notes
Car Crashes Only Shatter Under Cracking Atmosphere's"
option 3
.angels.have.still.have.feelings. ;
complicated=my poetry.
sry.
thelovesongwriter
A contest entry
- //Bottlecaps & [Crush]ed Memories. by They Say Shannon.
1200 points, ended July 26, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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there are parts in this that I really love, but on a whole it didn't jump out at me.
"thinking of angels creating those stars
slaving and bleeding with broken stained wings
hands lacerating from shrinking their sizes
faces burning from the intensity of the light"
I'd like to see you write about just that stanza and lengthen it because it has real potential. -
wow... you really drew me in at the end, especially with the last line: "i'm missing you...but you could never know" and the description of "angels creating those stars" was absolutely fantastic! good luck and great piece!
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This is really good;
Sorry I can't really describe my comment in more detail.
I'll do it... Monday or Tuesday; Okay?
I go camping until then and I'm leaving now.
<3
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