At night I burn bags of sunshine
And forgotten memories
Not knowing where to draw the line
I burn the things that eat at me
And all to quickly I'm left alone
And I am left thoughtless
Barely finding my way home
I fall asleep inside my car, exhausted
When I awake, it's snowing outside
And my dreams are pushed aside
I try to make my way inside
And I am left on which side?
Surrounded by lego houses with no doors
And stop motion keeps the world ticking
The bricks keep building up on my floor
But these images just aren't sticking
And I'm back out in the snow
The fresh, unyielding, mathematical snow
With no where left for me to go
With many miles for me to go
A contest entry
- Your BEST Prewrite! - For Mike [degarmo] - by Never Fall in Love.
950 points, ended October 29, 2007, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I don't know what to say here...
It is an interesting poem but I don't seem to grasp the concept of it ...
I'd just recommend some revision on this poem expecially on your rhyme as it feels slightly forced.
Good Luck in the contest and thank you for entering
Never ♥ -
thank you for sharing your talent with me through this wonderful write. i wish you well in the contest that we both have entered. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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