Built of sticks and stones
our roof leaked
arrogance.
with door slammed,
her voice muted.
left unkempt,
is our bed.
Author notes
OPTION THREE:
Write a poem about a time in your life
when things seemed out of control.
In a list
A contest entry
- Life Poetry ~ Upside Down by Dalaney.
300 points, ended July 19, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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love it!
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You certainly know
how to get my attention
with poetry. This is
such a good piece of
work, my friend. Thank
you for entering.
Love, Lane -
This is short and sweet, wonderful to the tounge and ear, leaking arrogance? Out of this world man great job, good luck
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the imagery takes
me there to that scene, that moment... you've captured the reader and immersed them... and you've done it beautifully and tenderly...
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Thank You
ellipsist for the lovely comment...you see it how it was...
silence stole the moment and love echoed emptiness...
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LOL
tanka you very much... come to think of it...I just wrote a double tanka... wanna read... http://allpoetry.com/poem/3181234
Hope all is well with you sweetie
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It happens to us all at one time or another sadly. Yet I hear the pensive distress in this emotional relating.
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hope not for you now
Carol...dont wish it on anyone... for ya...my
faithful friend..
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oh Mally
this is an unusual poem that I never saw before,nice flow and versed well..I hope it is not true..keep posting so,if I come back me can read...MM
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well at one time it was.
but then again...long time ago...s for you
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Wonderful word reflection of a moment...the images vivid and powerful, yet so very expressive of the emptiness that followed. It has a tanka-feel about it that I liked very much.
~ Nicolette
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