Must you wear these veils?
each one I remove
reveals another,
are you lavender and silk,
dancing in another love?
and why should I write
for you
long dead:
your eyes reflect the candlelight,
and are brilliant with the fire.
another veil removed
and still I cannot see you
clearly,
drunk upon my wine stained couch,
and you hurt me
when you turn away,
why do you touch me
in that way
when the night wanes
and dawn touches the Sky?
Another veil removed,
and your lips touch my pain
pale skin
colored by the tapestries
reflecting the newborn light,
and another veil removed,
you are dreaming.
No.
Remove no more for me.
Author notes
Written August 25th, 2003
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Often times we think another has deserted us and we we look again only find another aspect of them facing us. No matter how well we know another there often comes a point when we only wish to see them as is and receive no more revelations.
~*Starr*~ xxx -
Great
This was great but very sad. My favorite part was:
Another veil removed,
and your lips touch my pain
pale skin
colored by the tapestries
reflecting the newborn light,
and another veil removed,
you are dreaming.
No.
Remove no more for me.
Ooh that had so much in it and was so deep and rich!! Great job and best of luck in your writing future. -
Sad, this poems gives me a sense of someone in a drunken state of mind, thinking of a love that has passed...it is sad...but it is very emotionally written...well done, thanks for sharing
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interesting...
I was just wondering...is this any type of poetry form, or is it free-form?...just curious....sometimes too much for my own good... ^.^ -
This is an excellent metaphorical use of the character Salome. "The Dance of the Veils" begs for an even more fully-developed treatment, an exposition on the way we use concealment in our relationships.
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a lisa favorite as well. very visual and quite sexy to me despite the difficulties. all that dancing and unveiling..and then that stand alone No. newborn light is nice to.
chapbook worthy for sure.
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I like how it can be taken in many differant ways by many people... i enjoyed!
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excellent
What a haunting poem. I am far too tired this morning to invest in unveiling the myriad layers of meaning in this, but I will be back. This is one of those pieces that teases at your mind until you have explored every stratum. Thanks for sharing this rich and intriguing piece.
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lovely
A lovely unveiling
Do you know of Inanna?
Her descent into the underworld,
of sacred septine layering
at each new level removing
one more piece of jewelled dress
inspired the dance
ultimately
she was naked
clad only in
her own beauty -
nice
This is a great read, I also enjoyed the layered effect...
It seems painful in many ways...
I think I need
l.o.l (almost 3am)
Anyway great write & an enjoyable read
Best Wishes
~Tracey~
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To uncover ourselves and leave open our emotions is the hardest thing for anyone to do. The pain and hurt of all those previous relationships comes back to haunt. So it is you that must take layer by layer and re-assure and caress that which you desire most and thats who she truly is, and decide for yourself if its worth the wait. Take care, Lissa
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wow, excellent poem. I agree with what others have said. The layers effect is so right. This poem grabbed my attention throughout. I was attracted to the name Salome. I am intrested to know who she is. I assumed it was Salome from a religous story but after reading it, i can see it isnt. Great write
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*Spindle*
He veils her vulnerability
so tenderly
with kisses deep ...
see how she covers his contriteness
with the garments
of her love ...
The honesty of naked souls
may be too much
to contemplate
yet passion now becomes
consoler:
whatever sacredness still be concealed
is now illuminated by his eagerness and lust
not for the softness of her warmth
but for the tambour of her touch -
the weaving of her fingers
through his hair
and through the tangly threads
of memories and spleen.
Within the bobbin of the night
they spin another veil:
slowly and thoroughly they weave
the gentle sheen
of life's Eternal dream ...
myra
27.12.2003
Edited on Dec 27, 5:28 because ''. -
fascinating, I love the way you use the veils, the light - candle and fire, the colours, the pain - yet you can see her eyes, feel her lips, but they hurt, she is hurtful, wise Lute, not to demand she shed more veils, leave some illusions, it is often happier, tho' not better, or true. love is so often the unanswerable question, a vision too bright to look at full-on; a void so deep and dark we fall forever without finding peace.
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you may have had this going as.. unlayering...
but.. i was layered upon layer in reading..
wrapped up more and more in the curiosity of
where it was going
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This poem offers a suggestion of reality being revealed and not being as beautiful as suspected.... however I always go with my first analysis of a poem, and it doesnt always turn out to be the correct one. Enjoyable to read.
Lisa x -
very similar to my naked butterflies.......
I love this lute. -
I dream.. I dream...what is it you don't want to see? I will tell you if you ask...King that you are reclining in your drunken pain...supreme power, while the mad man raves below day and night taunting, accusing..and that you love that woman older so much fuller than I...make her your queen...would you see me? child decked in seduction...the thousand slobbering leers...what if I don't please, what then? what if I can't allure, what is to become of me? I seek to live, I seek to dream...or perhaps a veil to hide my shame...would this one cause you to smile? would this one gentle your eyes toward me, O King...?
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The loss of a part of ones self, or the idea of that loss that is not retrievable, tho, we search, and we search, it is not there for us to find again.
But, there are other aspects, ideals and upon those we seek a comfort, and through that comfort we see darkness at times and at times we see light.
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Great piece, yes I did write more but you know how this place is at moment
Jules. -
Yes, she must wear her veils or catch cold
~~~Val
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Stripping away, layer by layer, the facade we wear, but I understand removing no more - sometimes its frightening to think we might actually see what lies underneath. With each veil removed, therein lies what we are trying to hide, or at least a piece of it. I wonder how many veils I wear, now that I read this poem, how many I use to cover up those things I don't want people to see, my imperfections, my flaws, my vulnerability. This really makes a person think. Good write, thats what its supposed to do, or at least what I look for. That Salome, she was a piece of work, wasn't she!
~ becky
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This is VERY intriguing, and it paints such a gorgeous picture .. veil dances are very seductive, and you developed that feeling well .. I kept thinking of rich reds and violets like wine, long black curls, and khol-lined eyes .. absolutely beautiful
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Good job, I don't usually read love poems but you made me enjoy this one. And thank you for your comment on my poem.
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