I wonder if she wanders
through my fields, knocking petals
off aging roses. She loved me,
once, when the oaks were acorns,
my words graffiti on old barns.
We danced on promises wrapped
in eternal nights, tied off with forevers,
then, dipped in starlight. We stood
still in silence that rushed through us,
spilled out of us, to join
the seven seas of our dreams.
I walk amongst my words.
Wonder which ones she would linger upon,
twist around her finger, taste,
tie next to her heart. She never
said good by and I never held her
close, where bodies yield and blend,
where spring removes the drapes of antiquity,
replaces winter soreness with joy.
I stand in my lyrical blossoms.
Wonder when she will
lean past me,
pull the flower to her,
breathe deeply the richness,
turn back to me with a smile,
press her head against my chest,
trace my lips without looking.
I will surrender.
Never ask questions.
Wait
to see,
if when
she leaves,
she takes me
with her.
10:27 AM
7/12/07
Newington, VA
Author notes
Option 3rd
In a list
A contest entry
- Win $50, and be published in the next Allpoetry Book! Relationships theme by Kevin.
400 points, ended March 5, 115 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Very well penned, I love the ending and the painful hope of the whole poem..
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It is not always possible to have it all work the way we want it to. It takes strength to move forward and strength to be willing to surrender to the love. We learn the fine lines, most of us, and we know the courage it takes at times. We always are balanced between the rue of regret and the foolishness of trying too hard.
Thanks for you review. It is always a gift when someone shares with me.
Love, Tom B.
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This is quite the wow. I love the way that it is about "her" but it is about the speaker as well. It does not play the hapless victim. It takes an active role while acknowledging the inability to control everything.
I really enjoyed reading it. -
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We are both victims and agents of love. How we deal with the latter and act in the former describes alot of who we are. I am glad you enjoyed the grace of the setting and the voice you found acting in the venue.
Love,
Tom B.
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how very sad and yet full of beauty at the same time. it gives me hope to know that a man can feel so deeply and express the emotion so well. thank you for sharing this with me today. viyanna rosemarie
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This is one of my personal favorites. I like the underlying ache without any self pity. I enjoy the expression of love and yet how no effort is made to control the one loved. When we love honestly and vulnerably we always have to aknowledge that we are at any time liable to realize how much we risk.
Love, Tom B.
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Delicate, beautiful, sad... there are no words... -
Tom,
Know this is truly beautiful. Each line flows wonderfully into the next. Your words leave a lingering of gentle softness upon reader's mind. The sensuality of your quill is a gift to all those lucky enough to be able to indulge within it. Thank you for entering and good luck!
Blessings
Bel
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This kind of poetry takes my breath away. Really nice expressed feelings. It flows great all metaphors and pictures are used perfect. Bravo!
~Sonja~
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Thanks. It is quite a compliment to say a poem takes your breath away. I appreciate you taking the time to stop and share the joy you recieved.
~ Tom B.
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I love your poem. it gives grate detale
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I am glad you could enjoy it and took the time to share that with me.
Be happy and have a great day, Tom B.
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This is so beautiful im so glad I read it, I just love this part....I will surrender.
Never ask questions.
Wait
to see,
if when
she leaves,
she takes me
with her............ amazing poem!
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Part of being gracious and kind is the thank you and taking the time to write the note. Your joy leaps off the page and I am touched by you finding it in my poem. Sweeter, yet, is you took the time to share it with me. I am honored. May your day be a day of discovery and graced with joy.
~ Tom
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You are such an amazing writer. I have not read you in quite awhile. Well, not since my old account with FindingFate. Tom I must say that I've missed your work greatly. It has such a whimsical, lovely flow with a just a hint of underlying sorrow of sorts. This is just beautiful. I love the whole piece, but the beginnig sounded so nice as the words rolled off my tongue. Beautiful...Trina.
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Good to have you back. I missed you. Thanks for sharing your joy with me. I will continue to hold you in the Light. But my prayer to have you return has been answered. Love, Tom B.
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Such amazing beauty , of course I had to read it again..
sighs
Peace
~A~ -
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You know how to touch my heart and put a smile on my face.
You never have to do anything. I am gifted by the simplest gesture. I can hear your laughter from here.
~ Tom
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there are just no words to describe the way this write made me feel. no words at all
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Truly deep comment. You touch me with telling me how much this touched you. What artist can ask for more.
~ Tom
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Such romantic poetry!
"I will surrender.
Never ask questions.
Wait
to see,
if when
she leaves,
she takes me
with her."
And when that moment comes in a relationship, you have to decide which will bring you true happiness ... staying ... or letting go.
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We know, already. The secret is to listen to yourself. But, before this, know yourself. Know how true you are going to be to who you are and to the love you hold.
~ Tom
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"She loved me,
once, when the oaks were acorns,
my words graffiti on old barns." oh the sweet innocence of first loves. to see the once loved ones in our minds eye and still feel the breathe being drained from our lungs.... ever so sweet.
"We danced on promises wrapped
in eternal nights,"
i remember those nights... thinking that the one i loved would always be by my side and promises that were broken...
"...never held her
close, where bodies yield and blend,..."
making my heart flutter
"press her head against my chest,
trace my lips without looking.
I will surrender.
Never ask questions."
None of us ask questions we just feel and let it take us away. i remember tracing that of my lovers lips...and letting the feelings take us away...
Really Tom you have outdone what i thought you could do. thanks for sharing this extremely lovely fond memory of Your. *kisses*
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Is it not good to be surprised by those you thought you knew. We are better off when we accept we do not know. Leave room for surprise.
~ Tom B. -
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yes yes... accepting that which we do not know is very hard to do tho.
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That's something I can cry from
the whole situation got me in a spot that made me wonder. I loved the poem, though it's true.
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Thank you for sharing your delight and joy. For joy shared is joy multiplied. Love, Tom B.
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As many of the people who have commented before me stated, this is indeed a beautiful poem. The emotion is tender and apparent, and it holds such a sense of warmth. The imagery is amazing as well. It's very well worded and flows like a river. My favorite lines are
We danced on promises wrapped
in eternal nights, tied off with forevers,
then, dipped in starlight. We stood
still in silence that rushed through us,
spilled out of us, to join
the seven seas of our dreams.
Wonderful job, you amaze me, you have great talent
Write on
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Thanks. It is truly kind of you to say so. I am amazed at how many people this speaks to. I was blessed to be able to write it. Thanks for sharing the joy you recieved from it. Peace & Love, Tom B.
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bravo
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Wow this poem was so touching. Awsome awsome feeling. You truley have amazing skill!
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You are very nice to think so. I just wanted to catch a feeling. A moment when love and the yearning that never stopped was answered. Glad you enjoyed. Love, Tom B.
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Very nice
This was a truely amazing poem, and I really was receiving a well drawn out picture with your words. -
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Thank you. It is wonderful to hear that you could feel this and see this.
Peace and Love, Tom B.
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EXCELLENTE-WRITE'
AH, NOW THIS IS A POEM OF NOT ONLY BRILLIANCE' BUT VERY PERSONAL, BEAUTIFUL, AND DEEP. I CAN FEEL THIS POEM. IT IS SO MUCH, LIKE MY LIFE. I REALLY GOT INTO THIS GEM, AND I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST, ON THIS POEM. IT IS MAGNIFICO!!!!!!!!!LOVED IT.'GOD BLESS YOU'...LOVE, SHIRLEY ANN SHAW-RAYTOWN,MO............
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I am glad you can feel the dreams and desires in this poem. There is a joy here as well as a promise to love and to myself. Be good Shirley Shaw
you will be with your own soon, I am sure.
~ Tom B.
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i dont know what it is about this poem but i love it and i kinda seem to feel the same way about someone. im only 13 but i understand it more then most young girls could. sometimes we just have to let go of what we lost and hope it comes bak
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We want our love to have meaning. We want those we have loved to continue to love us, just as deeply as we cared about them. It is about the sharing and value created. We want the value to be number one. Notice this. If they can't share your values or create value with you then the words are empty and inspite of the dreams you tried to include them in, it is time to move on. Love, Tom B.
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This is a poem about renewal I think. The rich history of the relationship is being honored here and there is a strong sense of committment being conveyed as well. The promise of a fresh start in "I will surrender. Never ask questions" is very touching.
Very romantic. Very well written.
Karin
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I have one other one, you could look it up. Truth is I have a lot of them but this one stands out. it is called A Catch . . .
You called this one pretty well. Unfortunately, I think this relationship died of distance and inability to comitt. But not to worry it is all for the best.
~ Tom
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So many things jumped out at me
from these words - innocence, hope and dreams of what is to come, sadness at loss and the wonder of a pure and beautiful love waiting to blossom. I also felt very strongly that this story is not yet over.
I enjoyed reading every word from the first to the last
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stories are for telling after the picture is complete. The truth always other than what we believed could happen. Sometimes it is best to simply be patient, be available and try not to put my foot in my mouth too often
I can see that this touched you and for this poet that is always the nicest thing to hear. Love, Tom B.
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This is what you have inspired. I hope you enjoy... for it is a gift to you:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/show/3198714
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Tom,
Your poem is beautiful. This is on my list of favorites by you. This poem has left me inspired to write... and I shall. I will be back to post a link.
Thank you so much for sharing your talent... and warming me with your lovely words
I know I would take you with me...lol. Only a fool would leave such a man behind.
Love,
Mel
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If only everyone was a wise as you. But things take time and sometimes we just don't have enough. We do the best we can. Let me know when you have posted. Love, Tom B.
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Thank you so much for suggesting I read this. It did touch me..I have felt this a time or two in my life. Some people just linger and will never take their essence from the other..they are carved in their memories. Exquisite.
Soulful Woman
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It is something when out of the blue
I read your poetry and everything
falls back into place...You have that
magic most here only pretend to understand...
I simply love this.
Lane
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Embraceable.
The ache and the yearning are almost unbearable. Longing for love is a never ending pursuit.
"I will surrender.
Never ask questions.
Wait
to see,
if when
she leaves,
she takes me
with her."
....Sighhh.
Read this poem to her and she'll be yours...
You have a way with words, Poet!
~ Nicholas ~
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Thanks I try. Creating is always driven by a desire for perfection and living with falling short. Peace & Love, Tom B.
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Oh MY! you are such a romantic Tom. What happened to all the good men like you in my world? You manage to express yourself with such a romantic feel to your words. Something rare and something very touching. I guess you must have lived it to know it. This is really wonderful. I am glad I read it.
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I am a romantic. But I also believe that what is good in life comes out of one kind of love or the other. The joy, the deep energetic stuff, not happiness, all too flighty, this joy is the energy that is central to love and we have to grab it, celebrate it, become more articulate in joy than pain. We create in our lives what we can describe in detail. I have found that since I started becoming articulate in joy and love I have more and more of it in my life. Love, Tom B.
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Very Good
In the dream of the one love so close yet so far and to receive that moment of touch and feel the warmth od her breath is a suffocation of the spirite until that
moment she puts love on hold and lives on her dreams
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Thanks for your lovely thoughts and the joy of your reading. Love, Tom B.
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Bravo!
Your words have bombarded me with so much passion, I can't quite place what to write. Your imagery is vivid. Your vocabulary rich. Your words weaved like no other. Consider this poem a master work of art.
Well penned, my friend. -
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I just wanted to catch the ache and yearn. The place where dreams are born. The feeling that makes our prayers go straight to the sun.
Love Tom B. -
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And you've done an admirable job.
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Becareful my ego has been known to swell quickly
Love Tom B
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Lovely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is such a lovely piece you have written here. Full of beautiful imagery permeating love all the way through!!!! You have a way with words that made this flow so lovely and sweet. It's like you are remembering every romantic walk and talk, wondering all the while is she too, remembers the echanting journey of love the two of you have taken....simply lovely...just breath taking to me. .Each stanza just pours out your love and the hope that will never walk away!!!Thanks for leading me to this lovely piece!!!~~Toni
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Thank you dear. I thought you might enjoy the language, the ache and the subtle images used to let people take it inside them. I was truly pleased with the grace in this one. Again, I thank you for reading and sharing your lovely review. Love, Tom B.
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This piece was full of hope and bittersweet memories that melted into the mind like chocolate chips on the tongue. your simple style presents your message clearly. you haven't wasted a single word, each adds to the meaning in this poem and paints a deeper, richer, more vivid picture of the love that has strayed, yet surely will come again. once again, you have addressed a universally touching topic, the pang of unrequited or interrupted love. you do not exaggerate the emotions at all, nor do you use trite cliches. instead your originial voice rings out and resonates in the hearts and minds of those who have lived through this particular longing. i liked how you stepped outside the boundaries of words, making comparisons and symbolism work for your idea instead of forcing your idea to mold in the shape of already existing words. i admire your creativity, individuality, and emotive capacity. thank you for sharing this piece with me.
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Beautiful review. I like to be sensual, and I have been learning to release it as a subtle understatement and found it pulls even harder. Mel, luckysincere, calls me the master of touch, I have been really seeking to catch the touch of feelings not just the touch of hands or lips. Love Tom B.
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Breathtaking
That was beautiful!! I liked I walk amongst my words wonder which ones she would linger upon and I liked if she leaves I wonder if she'll take me with her. I've wondered that, you write something beautiful and hope to reach someone, and you wonder how it affects them. I love the way you write.
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Thanks for taking the time to enjoy my poem so deeply. Joy shared is joy multiplied. Love, Tom B.
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wow awesome write. You've got such a wonderful style and words flow so easily and beautifully. 6 thumbs up!
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Thanks for all the praise. I hope I live up to it.
Peace & Love, Tom B.
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Tomis ~
Thank you for sharing with me this absolute
garden of budding Life ~
This was one of your easier Writes to read,
as I am not always the sharpest tool,
yet I enjoyed the journey we shared ~
I felt your first stanza was your strongest with
this Theme.....the second stanza took me into
the present and I started to sway from your thoughts ~
Third stanza....>>>
( Wonder which ones she would linger upon,
twist around her finger, taste,
tie next to her heart. ).....would?.....will?
This is superb..>>>....**where bodies yield and blend,
where spring removes the drapes of antiquity,
replaces winter soreness with joy.**Stanza 4....I feel you came full circle in your
desired thoughts.....loved it ~
The finale, is bomb bursting ~
I am touched by the tenderness which shines greatly
within those few lines....as sometimes you are
quite shadowed with your writes, unless I turn on
the runway lights to see where to land after
reading what you have penned ~
Trust me.....that was a complimnet ~
I was a bit twisted with my review over this write ~
I wanted the journey to be smooth and simple, yet
you bumped me around from one side of the track to the other ~
Overall?
Splendid...yet some grammatical areas
could have been implemented with your talents,
and I would not be rambling ~
However....since you know me,
you will know that I love to critique ~
I am not one who will leave the same comments on Poems....
for ie;
sooooo lyrical.....breathless.....in awe......
brought tears to my eyes....no offense my Sweet Whooch....I mean....who's crying here?
Even in a Metaphoric tone, I could not tear up
unless you show me a Flag-drapped coffin
with a Soldier in it from this fucked up War!
Wow...sorry Tom....maybe this write did touch me after all ~
Great write dude ~
Bear ~
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We want the ones we love to come home. NO MATTER WHAT the reason. We want the ones who loved us once to never stop loving us and the ones we still love to take us with them everywhere. We are not greedy, just large and willing to celebrate a world turned into a garden. We may sit upon a hill or enjoy a view and sometimes be out of ear shot of the vibrance of youth. This is always cool as long as we can be with the ones we love.
Peace & Love, Tom B.
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Have you ever read something so delicate and with such vivid colors that it just simply leaves you in awe...
This piece has left me in such a place..
Beautiful poetry my friend..Best wishes with this entry..
Peace
~A~
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We all have a place where we yearn. Sometimes it happens that we are rewarded, sometimes not. The trick is to honor ourselves and our feelings. Love, Tom B.
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Breathtaking
I am left speechless and in awe. This is so beautiful and almost lyrical. The imagery is stunning and leaves me with a feeling of longing and anticipation. So well written. A masterpiece of art in words, I could almost paint the garden in my mind. Well done and good luck in the contest.
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You are gloriously to kind. I find myself with a thankful smile upon my face. Glad you stopped by to share your Light with me. Love, Tom B.
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Ohhh Tom, you had us all swooning in the office with this one, it's a beautiful write, we all loved it!! sj
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There is a first time for everything This is my first group sigh. Very, very nice of you to share that with me.
Love, Tom B.
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thank you my sweet and talented friend for sending the link. There is always something special to a day where the first poem I read is oone of yours. The day can go awry then , but for some reason I can kind of shake it off....as your words resonate within me for a long time and I can "tune out" from the ugly.{and there has been so much "ugly" as of late. I do not mean sad...I do mean "ugly".
There are so many ways this could be interpreted as ....it must be the line "She never said good bye and I never held her close....."I thought of all sorts of circumsatances[but mostly about a deep longing and yearning , that came maybe close to becoming reality] First stanza could indicate such...
then time passed and opposite directions were taken....and now comes the possibility of a second chance and with it the questions of "what ifs" etc , and the definite answers in "I will surrender, never ask questions".
urghhhhhhhhh....the thoughts are running amok in my mind [I know what I am trying to say and hope that maybe you will just a little bit as well-------but it is a write that leaves one wanting more.
These words coming from a man are what I believe make the piece all the more *sighful*<----is there such a word? for a woman. I will do my darnest for the 15th!!!!!!!
much love
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
reenie
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Such high praise. May I always be worthy as a space for joy and beauty. We often wonder what a moment of surrender would be like, would our partner surrender with us. How will we ever know unless we try. Love, Tom B.
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"We stood still in silence that rushed through us"is the readers favourite phrase within this,it encapsulates those moments when the togetherness is enough,no words are needed as almost like a psychic connection the two are so in tune words are unnecessary,denoting not an empty silence but one brimming and overflowing within it's bounty.Noticed the presentation of "good by" and wondered if this was intentional or had been intended as goodbye?Indeed when we have truly loved and been truly loved in return it never dies but lives forever within the time capsule that we carry within us,enabling the warmth to resonate.This poem reminded the reader of her first sweetheart,a kind,caring,sweet boy who wrote to her "sunshine,you are my sunshine,please don't ever take my sunshine away" and added a postscript that these were not his words but borrowed from a very old song but that he felt they were the words he wanted to say,that short note showed me that he cared enough to find the words and was honest enough to say he had borrowed them.To my deep regret I was unkind to him,I was drawn to the excitement of another and couldn't find the words to end our relationship,being cowardly,I asked my mom to explain to him,which she did,and I dated another boy,a bad boy it transpired and have never again known or been shown true sweetness,it must be karma for it was a cruel thing that I did and I have tried to trace him via friends reunited to apologize for my callousness and cowardly act many moons ago,just because I couldn't bear to see the pain in his eyes.I have remained forever fond of him and the time capsule contains those moments of stillness and togetherness,enough of my rambling,it's hard to see through the tears in my eyes.
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This is not a song of regret, but longing and yearning as you so nicely expressed. We may, if we are truly fortunate, be allowed to continue a path and see if the joy is as great as promised. Be gentle with yourself. Love yourself as you would want to be loved. Love, Tom B.
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Oh Lord, this has pained me in away I have no words for....just to say it has brought tears to my eyes..and a deep longing in my soul....Extreme and raw, you outdid yourself with this one...is that not what many of us wonder....has a sense of romance that I think most women long for...the way you, the man, feels and desires, leaves me breathless...anticipating....
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There is something in what you said that just made me see something I hadn't before. I can't quite put words to it. i will let you know when I can.
Thank you in spades. Sorry for the tears. Love, Tom B
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This is very beautiful - but very painful for me to read and comment on other than to say "excellent writing!" I'm sorry that's all I can muster at this time.
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I thought long about sendingyou this. But i decided that to leave you out was insulting. I can't do that. Continue to take care of yourself and you know i am here.Love, Tom B.
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Beautiful. The whole flow and imagry...amazing. I loved it. Thanks for showing it to me.
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Your joy is special and increases mine. Thanks for the bunnies
May your day be blessed. Love,Tom B.
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beautiful
tender, touching...
I don't know who "she," but I find myself wondering if, hoping she'll take me with her, too...
remarkable... it nearly made me cry
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Thank you dear. It is an incredible gift for someone to tell you that your poem touched them. Love, Tom B.
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I love this even more the second time...I will quote a phrase this time, though....
"I stand in my lyrical blossoms.
Wonder when she will
lean past me,
pull the flower to her,"
Absolutely brilliant. *smile*
all the bunnies hopped the first time, so I shall throw flowers, lol
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Sweet for you to come by a second time. Glad you shared a little more of the joy you found. I can hear the wind on your mountain stealing a smile and bringing it to me. Love, Tom B
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The tender feeling of blossoming love and you would know how I feel it, but you have written it so lyrically that all I hear is the music in my heart. Love, C
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Yeah, you are just waiting aren't you The joy, the tenderness. I look forward to the day I get to see your smile. Love, Tom B.
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"I wonder if she wanders
through my fields, knocking petals
off aging roses."
Sighhh...Ahhh...Beautiful, my Friend. Such wonderful sentiments scattered like the aforementioned petals...& of course she took you with her...Good luck in Bel's contest... Wanda
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Thanks for the best wishes. this is just one of those that I thought might bring a smile to your face and a sigh to your heart. Love, Tom B.
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~ encore ~
beautiful deep expressive strong affection just marvelous so what gasoline you run off of it has to be supreme. this write is supreme
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Just figured you would want to read. To bad you can't be in DC when I am the featured reader with Jazz back up on Aug. 15th. Thanks for sharing in the joy. Love, Tom B.
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I completely feel you your heart beats with mine, love. Amazing. Can't wait to hear you read it. Little busy will read more latter
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You are always busy. make me feel like a lazy bum
Thanks.
Love Tom B.
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♥
OMG!!! This OWNS!!!
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Thought this might take you home.
Love, Tom B.
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Wonderful. This is one of those pieces that just makes a woman sigh and speak inwardly; smiling secretely thinking of roses and stardust...missing kisses never felt and dreams disturbed by cool breezes coming through the window...
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Just wanted to touch the yearning to complete a love. Unite. Wanted to make it strong with out melodrama. Your words make me feel I succeeded.
Thank you. Love, Tom B.
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