Perhaps I should join
and spill my story on the crowd.
You know the one,
the one about how
I love this girl
but she loves me not,
how she's way too young,
and much too fast.
how the party swirls around
above my head,
making me dizzy.
about how
I can't even look at her
for fear of finally knowing her,
too much.
yeh, that story.
Author notes
Written August 25th, 2003
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1 - 7 of 7
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Excellent Poem!
My dad was 35 years old, and my mother was 21 when they got married. They were married 47 years before he passed away. True love has no age or boundries. Go fo it Lute. Fear is not a tool you should ever choose to use when you are playing in the playground of love. My son is almost 30, and his girl is 22, they say they are in love, and it's alright with me, as long as they are happy. Forget about society's laws...If you both agree, go for the gold!
Just my feelings that this wonderful little poem evoked.
Great Write! Lots of feelings in few words...
Thanks for the beautiful comment on Damaged Goods. The contest is over, and I didn't even place, but I wrote it to get it out, and I accomplished that. Thanks for the imagery in your comment, I could see the little boy...
Much Love
Renee
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"I can't even look at her
for fear of finally knowing her,
too much."
Afraid the real thing might be a disappointment? Yeh, I think I may have read that story a couple of times before.
Liked that it wasn't the usual sappy spill-your-guts type of poem (At least I have the corner on that market...hehehe), but it still had emotion, in a reserved-scared to share it or it'll become real-kind of way. -
I'm making my way through your poems. Like most of my favourites this says more by saying less. In the last lines all the hope and wonder of love - just as sometimes 'not bad' can mean more than all the 'excellent's in the world.
Not bad.
Edited on Sep 05, 3:51 p.m. because ''. -
Since we are in this meeting I will confess.... my bf is 43 and me a lil duck at 28....lol. I am a wheelchair robber... and he a cradle robber I guess... age is nothing to me, I tend to see past that. Maybe he'll trade me in for two twenty year olds when I turn 30.... hehe. I'm rambling.... but I just loved this so..
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That story I know personally. And that story I sometimes wish that I could forget, but the times that I wish not to always seem to win over even tho they are lesser than the other parts.
Ages will pass, and still the thought and the enjoyment of those memories shall still be there.
...still be there.
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wow
And your stickin' to it! Whirl-wind of emotion conveyed. I agree with symitar that line says so much! Beautiful.
Keep Feelin' Fascination,
~Tiffany~ -
Ohh, such possibilities here! I love this line.. 'I can't even look at her for fear of finally knowing her'.. now thats a great line, one that says so much. I would surely love to hear the rest of this 'story', but then, that might be too personal. I love the way you wrote this, the ending line, 'yeh, that story' just sums it up perfectly! Very interesting scenario!
~ becky
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