I enter the prairie conquered a century ago
by oaks that set roots in the banks of salt creek
In these shadows, the time resistant carcasses of
oaks felled decades ago, rot like crumbling granite
The under blanket of nettles, gooseberries and hemlock
is cut, here and there by the trails of foraging deer
It is here in the high arches of this cathedral
that nature entered my youthful spirit
I am the trees, and I am the shadows
but I am the sunlight as well
I am the sting of the nettles
but for the deer, I am the taste
I am the crumbling oaks
and the live oaks
and the prairie stragglers which
still dot the under blanket
I carry this place to all encounters
when you look at me
you see a man
When you listen to me
you hear a voice
but if you really knew me
you would recognize my nature
In our encounter we would be looking into a mirror
we would transcend and be calmed by understanding
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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ooooo I like this one. I feel like I'm breathing the forest air right now. Good job. :
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This is a marvelous write ...
and I can't think of a thing you could possibly do to make it better (unless it might be to punctuate it). Otherwise, it's totally perfect. You said
"when you look at me
you see a man
When you listen to me
you hear a voice
but if you really knew me
you would recognize my nature
but I'd say you're a Saint, or as close as to make no difference. Ghandi would have loved this. So would Jesus or Buddha.
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The oneness that you reflect in this piece makes me happy. As your profile suggests, we cannot spell out in words the truth and thus we have art, the beauty of expression and the positive scepticism (of knowledge) that humbles us, whilst at the same time, makes us whole.
Thank you! -
Ok I love this poem! But for me it was more all about the introduction. It really got my attention and was VERY well written and beautifully and relatably so. ^_^
:
I enter the prairie conquered a century ago
by oaks that set roots in the banks of salt creek
In these shadows, the time resistant carcasses of
oaks felled decades ago, rot like crumbling granite
The under blanket of nettles, gooseberries and hemlock
is cut, here and there by the trails of foraging deer -
''but I am their taste in the mouth of the deer
I am the crumbling oaks
and the live oaks
and the prairie stragglers which
still dot the under blanket''
This part was difficult for me... out of the rest of it.. I stumbled
I adored the ending stanza... the message that I am truely you and you are me if we would just stop, relax and smell the flowers a bit we would notice that we all have the same journey intended... I really liked the first part and the images you portrayed...It was so visual that i could feel the surroundings and smell them
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oh my goodness
This is such a wonderful poem. I love everything about it, bravo! It is beautiful on so many levels. Thanks again for showing so much concern and thanks too for the wonderful comment. Your work is wonderful!
*peace*
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