JOURNEY PAST HEARTACHE ( and naughty bits)

My first man was so handsome
So keen and eager too
To break in my virginity
He knew just what to do
Around his sword he put that thing
To make the night worthwhile
Happy to be like all the rest
All I could do was smile

My second man, my first love
Made me so secure
I was just a teenager
And he was so mature
Many nights we'd sit up late
Talking through the night
With marriage on our minds
I often thought we might
But many problems rose
His friends were our worst curse
We were both in love

And fighting just got worse
Casanova was your nick name
The girls had told your truth
But I was young and naive
Blinded by youth
And then that day did come
I had heard the reason why
She was in the background
It was time for our goodbye

The third man was a mystery
But oh so good in bed
He came along when I was down
With my second still in my head
He made me laugh and was so keen
To show off his physique
An alcoholic he came to be
But often made me weak
So there I was at night with him
In many different ways
Upside down, in and out
Sometimes even days
And then it finally dawned on me
That he would never change
Finally his drinking
Showed him to be strange
He had a lot of anger
He took it out on me
After the violence
He'd joke around in glee
And so when I fell pregnant
All I could do was run
Wasn't gonna stay with him
The father of my son

My fourth man and my fifth
They had never cared
I lived my life for some fun
At least my life was shared

My sixth man was much younger
And a friend he came to be
Here was someone I could love
To share some light with me
Perfect love he made me high
But I was insecure
A younger guy to fall in love
His love was always pure
So with my son he'd muck around
Just like a father would
He drove a car, he took us out
This man was just too good
And he was just a boy inside
I couldn't weigh him down
I wouldn't let him give up life
He had roam around
But wanting to stick by me
I was his only light
And deep within his loving arms
I could of been his wife
His friends had found resentment
His days were never free
His life had been their mate-ship
And then there was me
And so it was, it dawned on me
He loved me way too much
How could I give to him
Something he can't touch
My heart had once been stolen
I could never get it back
Somewhere faraway
My heart was charcoal black
And so in time I had to tell
As tears rolled down his cheeks
I needed time...on my own!
He would give me a few weeks
But he was always at my door
And sometimes I'd go back
I couldn't stand to see his pain
Pain was what I lacked
Eventually, there came a day
He knew would be no more
But never did he know
If I had loved him for sure

And after many heartaches
Time has been by me
Many men have loved and cared
And some have just used me
I've been kicked and punched
I've been abused, some would never tell
I've had the best, and I have used
(But never at all too well!)
And sometimes love has touched me
On occasions I can't explain
But never did I let them know
I had to use my brain
For I could never hold them down
I had to let them go
And if they ever loved me back
I didn't want to know

So ten years later...here I am
Thinking through my past
My first love back beside me
And a dream that had passed
For no more do we talk at night
Or ask of what will be
Somehow life has passed me by
Oh what was wrong with me
I miss the life I used to lead
The fun and friends I had
I escaped freedom
While he had other plans
I'd waited all my life for him
And now it's so impure
Too many things have changed I guess
And no more do I feel
My heart has no desire
To live life as a MUST
To be a slave under his thumb
Oh where was all that lust
And I really do resent
Him breathing all that beer
Time has been and gone for him
And now he lives in fear
And if by chance, one day soon
My heart shall beat again
I'll remember how time passed me by
My fairytale through pain