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But inside... I'm screaming

She's stroking mirrors with a happy hand;
running fingers && smiles down the candy swell,
&& tearing holes on my insides
   
    - Demanding submission.

Another one hundred here and there
&& I'm debating the significance;
while she's reminding me of it.

Gilded frames circle
technicoloured reflections
&& she's adding something extra;

-just for a treat.



I feel the lie as it rests on hipbones
but I can't shake belief
from my crooked heartache.

Author notes

Option 3... I think.
the "she" and "I" are the same person.
"she" lives inside of me and turns on me whenever I look in the mirror "she" is my EDNOS

OK, I don't know if this even IS dirty pretty... probably not so please DQ is necessary - i won't be offended.
and I know I used the word hipbones... but it's hard to talk about my Eating thing without mentioning them becuase they kind of are what I think about...

OPTION 9 - Love, lost, lust and options!
VAHSMAN

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • doyouloveit
    November 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    awesome awesome awesome i can understand this piece and i think you did a great job congrats on all your trophies for it


  • Exodus gold member
    October 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I loved this the first time, the second time and god knows how many more times I've read it. Thank you hun.


  • DancingShadowCorpse
    July 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed reading this poem, it is very good!

    Gilded frames circle
    technicoloured reflections
    && she's adding something extra;

    -just for a treat.

    This is awesome, I adore it. Great write! Thank you for entering and goodluck!


  • juliex-exotic shine
    July 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love this; it's outstanding. Your ending is strong, and it was by far my favorite part of the poem. Great job!
    [thanks.for.entering&great.job]
    x.


  • Xxthe angry gothxX
    July 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Still, I am not offended. I thought you put a lot into this. I think there was a lot more to it then met the eye. This was also one, but it had a nice feel. Good luck.


  • Exodus gold member
    July 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I loved it when I read it the first time, and I love it even more now. ^_^


  • ScarletLetter
    July 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    intriguing

    Honestly, it was.

    I loved how you set it up.

    It's different than most poems that I've read.
    I like your style.

    love and praye,
    ~*Jess*~


  • thelovesongwriter
    July 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I feel the lie as it rests on hipbones
    but I can't shake belief
    from my crooked heartache.

    wow, that ending is superb! great write && best of luck to you

    -lovesong


  • rawrbby
    July 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wowww! this was absolutely amazing! you are a fantabulistic writer.

  • Exodus gold member
    July 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Toooooooooria! (I had to use an abreviation of your name that wasn't on your Authors page. Plus I have a cousin Victoria that I call Toria =]). This is just amazing babes, you certainly have a fuck load of talent.

    ♥♥♥Another one hundred here and there
    && I'm debating the significance;
    while she's reminding me of it.♥♥♥

    You're brilliant!


    • Vashman
      July 12, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      toria's good, don't think anyone's ever called me that before lol.


  • forbidden-colour
    July 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Good write.. its really good!
    Mwah!

1 - 13 of 13