Isolation is what I seek
Needing you like nothing
ever before, you are the
very being of my
existence, my true
reality, sober existence
To think I breathed without you,
however how shallow, the
only thoughts I have now
underline my need for you
gut instinct takes over
heavenly dreams come
to fruition
I love you
Will you love me too,
only you can say
unless you sell our truth
laying for the next
day to bring the truth
How can I cast my doubts
aside, and show how much I
value you
everyday?
Loving you
Only I can
Vanity subsides
elapsing to your heart
Letting you
into my heart
knowing I am now vulnerable
everyday is worth living
Take me
home forever
I need you
show me that you need me too
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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well....I was going to say that some of the way you broke up your thoughts seemed a little jerky....which actually makes the inernal struggle of loving and being vulnerable vs being safe and not loving more real to me...but then I saw that its in a list of acrostics, and I just went "O.O!!"
" To think I breathed without you,
however how shallow, the
only thoughts I have now
underline my need for you
gut instinct takes over
heavenly dreams come
to fruition" I really loved this part....takes me back to a time when I felt like that, thought I did re-learn how to breath on my own
very well written...and I bet the next one will be even better
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I did not even realize this was an acrostic until I saw the "in a list: Acrostics" at the bottom! haha. I do tend to be oblivious like that though...
I actually like the line "however how shallow," though that whole stanza is my favorite, in fact. This is too sweet (no seriously my teeth hurt ) Nicely done!
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Interesting acrostic, although some of the line breaks seem forced to fit the structure, leaves it a little uneven in flow. I'm thinking this line "however how shallow" is better syntax without the "how" and cleaner sound. Admirable effort to this challenge.
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beautiful.. great word usage and flow... this is really wonderful, you depict love so well.. great job and keep it up
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