I stared off in the distance
from the windows of my soul
shades of gray and black
lay above a cloud of gold.
I polished away old dust
from my windows rotted panes
and watched the cloud of gold
burst forth with acid rain.
Author notes
"Real tears don't fall from your eyes and cover your cheeks, they fall from your heart and cover your soul"
In a list
A contest entry
- Your BEST Prewrite! - For Mike [degarmo] - by Never Fall in Love.
950 points, ended October 29, 2007, 130 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Suffering from Depression, and dealing with it.... by Beautiful-N-Broken.
600 points, ended September 12, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Story of my life....thank you so much for entering the contest and good luck with it. :]
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i like it. it is short but it gets your point across. good job and good luck in my contes
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oops forgot to vote
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i absolutely locve this one it is very good . Good luck in the contest
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Very strang especillay seeing the length of this poem. It was enjoyable to red because of the flow that is within this poem.
The quote that perhaps inspired you to write this was good as well, and the picture too is great.
Good Luck in the contest and thank you for entering
Never ♥ -
i would like to thank you for sharing your talent with me through this wonderful write. i wish you well in the contest that we both have entered. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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This one is wonderful. I loved the strong imagery and powerful words which described the situation. The rhyming and flow was pretty good. Great work!
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thank you
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beautiful pic along with poem wonderful flow i relly enjoyed this
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Oh my! This is amazing, it really is one of my favourite of your writes. Damn, I wish I'd written it now! I'm on holiday hehe - in Devon (which is basically just full of really old people ) x hope you're ok, take care! x
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Beautifully Written!
I absolutly love it,it's so creative and expressive.My favorite lines are the two lines you ended on.Your authors note is also really cool.i just loveloveloved how in the beginning you said you were looking through the windows of your soul then how at the end you said how you were polishing the windows and you just watching it burst acid rain,that was so well written and sad too.well,anyway,really good work!
-R.A.*
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well done here a lot of feeling and wonderful metaphor to rain as sadness or heartbreak, very well written and expressive...PK
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EXCELLENT AND HEART FELT
Yes this is so true for as tears fall the heart feels the pain and visions taken in triggers all the rain .
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This is beautiful, but bitter. Such amazing imagery and feeling packed neatly into a short poem just like packing away memories in a box and hiding it away. A bitter ending to sweetness.
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Fanstastic
A piece full of sarcasm. No doubt I enjoyed the brevity in wit. Keep it up. The picture which you have choosen is also amazing. The poem appears to have a plethora of meanings contained in it when the line goes as
"from the windows of my soul".
Good luck
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I like
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OMG
That was absolutly amazing
Great job absolutly breathtaking emoition and imagery penned into this piece.
Keep this up WOW.
Delila
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A wonderful piece with elegant language and beautiful imagery! Loved this, i thought it went very well with the picture. All the best!
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this is quite inspirational. you use a combination of simple words to make such an original and beautiful masterpiece. good luck in the contest. victoria.
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Beautiful, very intriging write and capivated the prompt nicely, well done!
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