You are my dark mirror
Casting desire and pain like shadows in the mid afternoon
Stabbing me with credulous insecurities, slicing away hope
with your powerful consequences, like a velvet covered rod
When sex and lie become the same pleasure
And joy fades like a recent lover’s bruise
Were do you turn to lay down the load?
You are my clouded lake
Coldly refreshing bitterness never tasted so clean
The flapping of your lips soothe my troubled soul that rests uneasily
driving ambitions race to a forever standstill at the cross ways
When you turn your back on those that won’t go
And beg the ones that run to comfort you
Who is left standing with you?
You are my fading star
Out of place in the sunlight, aching beautiful from miles away
Never close enough to burn though you light a fire deep within
pushing me closer and closer to the pronged memory of what once was
When good deeds are met with backhands
And smiles are erased with cruel words,
What then poet? What then?
What'cha got for me?
Comments
-
Oh wow. This poem was amazing! I absolutely loved it. One of the best poems I've ever read (YEAH FEEL SPECIAL!) haha :]
My favorite part was:
"You are my fading star
Out of place in the sunlight, aching beautiful from miles away
Never close enough to burn though you light a fire deep within
pushing me closer and closer to the pronged memory of what once was
When good deeds are met with backhands
And smiles are erased with cruel words,
What then poet? What then?"
This really captivated me. Great job and keep up the good work.
-
Wow... thankyou so much!
That was brillant, so much natural talent and power. Truly an amazing poem, traces of mystery and elegance about it, so kinda confusig when read deeper into, but... Wow yeh- this is quality stuff.
Breakdown:
Image: 9/10
Emotion: 9/10
Rhyme and flow: 9/10
Cohesion: 9/10
Message: 8/10 (mystery creates, an unknown element to this poem- it is good though)
Overall: 9/10
P.s. what were you thinking when you wrote this poem, to you as the poet, what does it mean?
lastly what is the end of this line meant to be? "pronged memory of what once was"...
Adding your comment:
