&& my hands still sweat in that sentimental way,
&& I laugh and smile at all the words you say,
&& its been months now and I still feel like its all brand new,
&& it feels like fate when I'm holding you.
Maybe its you or maybe its me,
But theres some definite changes that everyone has seen.
I cant keep the smile off my face,
I cant leave without a trace,
Cuz I giggle too much now.
I dont cry out loud.
I go to sleep just to dream of you,
&& when I'm awake, I still think of you...
Author notes
thisismywonderland
A contest entry
- Something different and for all ages by Dark Whispers.
300 points, ended May 2, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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After reading over some of your work I find that you are decent poet but their is still room for improvment, try adding metaphor and meter to your poems for a more focous flow.
Good Luck
Dark~ -
good job! short, sweet, to the lovely point ^.^ good luck! =]
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i like the last two lines. i sleep to dream and when i'm awake i think of you. that's very romantic- seems to end your poem powerfully. excellent
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Wonderfully done!
I love the last two lines, your whole existence, awake and dream consumed by the very existence of love. I really, really enjoyed this write! Thanks for sharing! "I cant keep the mile off my face," I've been there, just feeling constantly loopy over another person. I've heard it said that only poets can truly love... I love the title, whenever one of my coworkers is chatting with wife or girlfriend on their cell phone, when they hang up, I say, "Man, you just stepped in love. Wipe that off, dude!" Excellent write, keep up the good work!
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