Fool to Believe

God, I think I am a
Fool to believe you are
Out there watching over me.
If you exist, why do I hurt
All the time?
Why can I not escape this overwhelming
Fear that everything is falling apart?
Why does misery follow me and the ones I love?
Why is happiness so far away?
Why is there a hole deep inside me that
Deepens with every breathe?
Is it too much to ask
For one half-way decent thing?
I am sick of praying and getting
Nowhere with you?
I am sick of being told ways
To please you.
I think you don't exist
And if you do, just save me
And my family and my unrelated sister
From a crazy fate.
Just let everyone I love end up happy
I think happiness is something I will never find
I give up right now
I was a fool to believe that you loved me
But right now I am saying
Never ever again
Please prove me wrong