The hidden secrets behind his eyes
I eagerly wish to know
The passion of his gaze
I long to feel
I've never met this man
And yet he still seduces
He's still across the street from me
But in his stare I feel him touching
His smile captivates me
His eyes go without words
The fireworks glimmer and illuminate his face
A candle-like glow surrounds him
Slowly he makes his way toward me
I can't seem to catch my breath
I feel like a giddy school girl
With a High School crush
His hand brushes my shoulder
And his eyes meet mine
In that split second
I know this man is mine
After a night of jokes and lights
We sadly say our goodbyes
As he tuns around and walks away
Into the arms of his wife
Author notes
contest poem, a girl has realized she's in love with her married best friend and has just seen him in a new light.
A contest entry
- CONTEST by Flames-of-Furey.
461 points, ended July 25, 2007, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Songs We Grow to Like, Never STICK at First by Southern Darling.
1200 points, ended November 28, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Searching For New Favourites ♥ by Immortal Obscurity.
1750 points, ended April 9, 2008, 51 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
This is really sad... Actually, I wrote a story about something similar, where a guy falls in love with his married best friend, and somehow her pain and his body wind up in bed. It happens all the time, but I've always been the one who gets cheated on, and I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone! Thank you for sharing, and good luck!
-
The ending wasn't what I was expecting...great job and a nice twist. You have done a good job with this poem, very well penned
-
Fantasy
This happens all the time - there is nothing new under the sun - as long as the fantasy doesn't turn to reality - sometimes we let our hearts rule our heads - much wisdom is required to overcome - I'm a rhymer so I will not comment on that - the poem flows okay - I tried singing it and with a few minor changes it was alright too - Bless God - Joe
-
what a surprise ending. I thought he would be death or something. good job and thanks for sharing with the group.
-
Great!
wow! I didn't expect that last part about him having a wife! I really enjoyed reading this poem and I hope to read more of your work in the future.
-Tim -
"But in his stare I feel him touching"
Aw... So sweet, so sentimental, and yet so melancholy-mournful-sad! You've presented the situation impeccably, dressing it up in that code of language we all love. Frills -similes and metaphors. I actually like the lack of punctuation in this one - it increases the flow as opposed to obliterating it. Well done - not many people could pull that off. All in all, quite fexcellent, darling -
wow this is so good i love the twist at the end this is fantastic go you
congratulations really enjoyed thi
1 - 7 of 7





