...
Truncated cadence ebbs,
abates, as extremities
succumb to deliberate
necrosis.
...
A contest entry
- QUICKIE!!! Reserve a spot, 10 entries. 10 minutes. 10 words. Pay it forward. by Naridill.
300 points, ended July 10, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Excellent word choice, and from what I can tell about this poem it was severely constrained by the inspirational source. I very much like "truncated cadence ebbs / abated as extremities" because of the alliteration, and related assonance. Magnificent word choice in a few short phrases. That could not have been easy to imagine in a "quickie" context. I have no idea what the nature of this contest was, but this deserves major Kudos for the technical elements combined with an intelligent subject matter. It reflects a lot of intelligence in a few short phrases. Outstanding.
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An old surgeon's adage is: all bleeding eventually stops. ...not the most comforting thought, if you're the one laying on the table. But true. This has a lot of truth to it, too, even though it seems to hurt. Take away the blood, and you get numbness, and then death. This is short, but packs a punch. Nice job.
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:-)
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sometimes to save a life, or continue to live it, you have to kill or make numb a big part of it off...
just where i went today...
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You're still in my prayers, sister.
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Tightly Wound
Concise, heavy words, tightly wound, choking off the rhythmic beat. Had to look up "necrosis", which makes it even better.
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well obviously this is very intelligent
Way over my head...hahahaha
I do think I understand it...but not exactly sure
Really has me thinking
"Succumb to deliberate necrosis"
Frightening....A profound realization
Yeah...have to say I like how it makes me think
Well done Miss!
But...I have just read this line on your home page
Well, actually I have read it before but never really hit me like it did today
"idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows."
Hahahaha...I love this!
Sad...but so very true in so many cases, situations
Not to seem out of line, but I notice this more in women than in men
I think thats why more men hurt women than the other way around
Women seem to be more idealistic, when young...then they grow up to realize men aren't what the dream them to be...I know I'm putting myself down...in a way..but its true.
Simple...is the only way to live
Thanks for making me think today Miss
My mind was quite cloudy today
Keep them comin!
Much Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A little confused but interesting when read over a few times.
Thanks for entering.
Much luck. -
*****Prompt***** 'tourniquet'
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