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mind warp

Missing image

mind warp

my obedience at a single wafture,
incarcerated, deep within these walls.
no vestige of me remains since my capture.
detritus darkness dwells within these halls.
wishing for a miraculous rapture,
and yet I still respond, to all his calls.
resentful of his opprobrious conduct,
presumed his turgid language will instruct.

merely a sherd of my mind, is all that’s left
and the rest of me is fictile in his hands.
sanity imbroglio, inflicted by theft
and I comply to all his callus demands.
can I escape; is my lowly mind that deft?
can my mind be healed with hourglass sands?
upon my escape, this will all cicatrize,
as sanity only resides in my eyes.

 

 

 

Author notes

Word Bank Used:
wafture, vestige, detritus, opprobrious,
turgid, sherd, fictile, imbroglio, cicatrize


Acrostic Ottava Rima
A Ottava Rima is a poem written in 8-line octives. Each line is of a 10 or 11 syllable count in the following rhyme:
one octive poem. abababcc
two octive poem. abababcc, dededeff
three octive poem. abababcc, dededeff, ghghghii


Reference: shadowpoetry.com
Art work by: Christopher D. Anderson

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Frozentearz
    July 23, 2007

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    Congratulations on your H.M.
    truly some wonderful work, and your creativity stood out,
    Warm thoughts
    Frozentearz


  • hoodoolover silver member
    July 14, 2007

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    This is a most excellent use of a word bank! Goodness, the images this painted in my mind were of a woman being held captive either mentally or physically, really chilling and well done!


  • Peteskid gold member
    July 12, 2007

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    I like the last line best, some well used prompt words here and the acrostic adds interest to the poem, very nicely done in a very difficult word bank...PK


  • Cant-touch-this
    July 11, 2007

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    This is a eye opener...what a wordbanks and you sure did it well...upon my escape, this will all cicatrize, as santity only resides in my eyes wonderful!


  • Desire gold member
    July 11, 2007

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    Brilliant!!



    Now this is what I am talking about!!
    What a Gorgeous presentation and equally Gorgeous verse You have penned~ The Powerful words implemented from the word bank~

    I mean~ they are not everyday words I use
    ok well maybe while in the bathroom
    but really...noooooooooooot
    but heck You just melted them in here so easily~
    Loved this!!
    You are toooooooooooooooo good

    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Hetha gold member
    July 10, 2007

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    WoW!

    Definitely not for the faint of heart! Not only did you combine two forms and do it perfectly, but you deftly and with aplomb, managed to incorporate the more difficult to define words of the word bank into something deep and meaningful! IMPRESSIVE!!
    ~Hetha


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    July 10, 2007

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    Ahhhh. YES!!

    Alliteration, Form, Rhyme!

    Truly you have presented a wonderful piece for my/our reading pleasure. Well done! I am impressed with your combination of acrostic and ottava rima (one of my favorite forms) as it has worked very well here.

    Your ability to incorporate these words and stay within such tight structure is remarkable and highly impressive. I see much time and effort placed in this entry and I am very pleased.

    I loved the way your use of "eyes" gently pulls this painting into the scene.

    Nice work. This is the kind of poetry I am looking for. Well done. ~Pamela


  • PoetsAngel
    July 10, 2007

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    I do so enjoy dark poetry and you have astounded me with the piece...I like your dark side. When you join two forms as you have done with this, it gives the reader so much depth, I truly adire your talent. Good luck in the contest.


    Cathy♥


  • RedAquarius
    July 10, 2007

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    Amera, this is fabulous. You used these words deftly and without any apparent difficulty. Not only that, you did it in TWO forms. I have a special passion for dark poetry that is not cliche ridden and here, you have far surpassed my expectations.


  • sunny day
    July 10, 2007

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    This is vintage you. Form within form done brilliantly. I saw this contest last night when I got the link and have it bookmarked. You filled this with the imagery and the alliteration is magnificent. I am always left humbled by our host here and you do the same to me. Your magniicent use of the verbiage brought forth multitude of emotions that swim within the sea of troubles seen in the artwork. Best wishes in the contest. It sounds golden to me. Love you my friend, Joyce


  • Whoochi gold member
    July 10, 2007

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    OH Mercy DOLLFACE..not expecting this...sounds more like my insanely twisted mind, not your beautiful one...Loved it...and man that pic is captivating....well done on the words...one of these days....


  • StarEyes
    July 10, 2007

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    What a read this one is my dear friend! I have nooooooo idea how you do it! This is great! Best of luck in the contest!

    and much love

    Nyetta

1 - 12 of 12