hung in the darkness
darkness moves eight spindly legs
amassing darkness
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1 - 5 of 5
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This is pretty cool. I am arachnaphobic, but I do love the way you incorporate a spider with a likeness to darkness....it feels right.
Good Write, I like it.
SaintJimmy -
i hate spiders! but i love this!
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I'm not a fan of spiders but this piece is good.
I note the earlier comment about repetition and regardless of good or bad practice in Haikus it works here since the word repetition conceals the different meaning each time and these meanings crept out at me on succesive readings so keeping the piece fresh for longer.
Jim -
I love the backround. I supposed you used repetition on purpose, but it's a bit much for me. That's just me opinion though. I like the spider metaphor, by the way.
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yeh i imagined the repeats in a haiku might be a bit much, but i wanted to give it a try and see what happened.
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