Water collides with the
human body in multiple ways.
Last night was an empty
coffin because for the first time
I considered changing my style
of pouring. But what if he
had cancer and what if in
the shower, water could only
wash everything clean? Hands
slipped down my hips, alone
(good people like this deserve
rainbows back). I recalled
old hobbies - ponds and
fat frogs. But not spraying
his hardships away sounded
like surreal drums over Beethoven's
Moon Sonata. My affection embraced
every molecule of baby-baldness
while he,
he said frogs have to
read more fairy tales.
Author notes
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
A contest entry
- Une saison en enfer by Aesthete.
1500 points, ended August 24, 2007, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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frogs in fairy tales become princes, if they believe? nice, and the touching has something myterious to it too; metaphors to cleansing seem strong here also. So very well done here...PK
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this is so neat. i especially like the beginning and the line "last night was an empty coffin because for the first time i considered changing my style of pouring"
the end kind of seemed like it just slipped out all at once and was kind of scrambled, especially since its all one line from "but not spraying". for a better flow i would suggest taking out 'because' so that it reads "moon sonata. my affection..."
excellent write
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it kind of sounds like the speaker is trying to wash herself clean of someone who maybe raped her? or maybe someone unworthy of her intimacy...
this was good. i enjoyed it.
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I am glad you enjoyed this. You are right in your interpretation, though there is a bit more to it. Thank you!
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