Baby, we're painting lies
on these concrete walls &&
carving them in trees.
Even scars have
soldier stitches by their sides
an army [of misery] - or for it.
It ain't the words that mean
a thing
-it's the intoxication!
Apologies written in lipstick
on a mirror;
Scrawled over the reflection
of the *lies* in your eyes.
Faded polaroids* in a broken shoebox
Glitter chewed && faded
...All I have left.
*Burnt
without ever looking
at your face again.
Author notes
**sweetie all the *****stars***** in the world couldnt fix my broken[[♥]]*
FOR A CONTEST
A contest entry
- sweetie all the ****stars****in the world couldnt fix my broken[[♥]] by Aquamarine..
360 points, ended July 13, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell Me The Truth. Did You Ever Love Me? by forbidden-colour.
300 points, ended July 12, 2007, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - enter all your dp writes! ****prewritesallowed by thelovesongwriter.
500 points, ended July 22, 2007, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Give Me All Your Gold~ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended July 26, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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You are but of course very right here. Tasteful write indeed and yes, it's true. Sometimes love can be the most intoxicating thing in the world, but one gasp too long and we are taken forever♥
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WOWW<222 the imagery is so clear in every single part of this
Even scars have
soldier stitches by their sides
an army [of misery] - or for it.
*Burnt
without ever looking
at your face again.
the whole poem sticks with the same theme...unbelievable write! <3 i love dp without cliche words and punct..this is great
thanks for entering and best of luck to you! -
I really loved reading this :] you structured it in a really interesting way and I liked what you had to say. You express yourself very well. It's a wonderful poem!
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Oooo.
My contest eh?
Tehe.
I really like this one and the concept of "All I have left"
Leaves the line open, which is good sometimes [=
Mwah.
Good luck to you and thank you for entering!
Lullaby.x.
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Different from your usual style yes, but no less brilliant. I really like it hun, you did an amaZING (haha I'm funny) job.
Well done babes
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I like the title here ... it draws the reader in nicely to the body of the text and I was rather taken with the way you express yourself: "it's the intoxication" ... you take us on a journey and then hit us with the final stanza which gives resolution to the whole saga. Lovely! (I won't ask who it was that inspired you to write this ...). x
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thanks for your concern but it was only the contet that inspired the write. However, I have had personal experience with someone in the past, but that's all over now.
thanks for the comment.
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i like this whole thing, but the last three lines have the most impact to me. great job, keep up the good work.
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awww www www this is sooooooo awesoem hunni i lala love it
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i can understand why you entered that contest.. it has so much meaning, its so powerful.. but i think that as you wrote you just kept not worrying about the words more and more because it seemed to me like the first line was the best and towards the last one everything got a little iffy.. but thats okay, i still liked the meaning and it was still a great poem - good luck in the contest
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Amazing sweetcakes
Faded polaroids* in a broken shoebox
Glitter chewed && faded
...All I have left.
*Burnt
without ever looking
at your face again.
Wowie...
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Thank you chicky!
it was written for a contest and therefore not completley my usual style, but a nice challenge!
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