My youth
A final draft
written in permanent ink
and being sent to the printers.
It's too late
to hit backspace
or edit anything
that seemed unfinished,
It's too late
to scrawl one last note
to pay attention to the structure
of my childhood.
Every letter is set
as if in a slate of concrete
for carrying with me
and reading later.
But though I can look back
I cannot go back.
My final draft
has been sent to the printers,
and a post-printing correction
is not an option.
Author notes
I'm turning 20 in 1 hour and 23 minutes...I would stay up for my birthday, but I have to work tomorrow.
I'm gonna wake up a full-fledged adult tomorrow...how weird is that?
And be easy on this. I don't want critical comments because it was LITERALLY thrown together in like, 3 minutes as kind of a symbolic last poem of my youth.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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HI, kayla, long time, huh !!
When I first started reading this poem I thought, you're about to get a book published or something... what a pleasant surprise whe I got a little further along and saw that it's coming of age that you're writing about. I love the way you've set this up. A very enjoyable read
I remember my 20th birthday... wow, that was more than 51 years ago... I was already married with two little boys. We were in Germany at the time My husband was in the Army and stationed there) And I remember thinking "I'm no longer a teenager".
Some of the other Army wives gave me a birthday party and I received some nice gifts.
So... Happy Birthday, lady... more than just a little late but the good wishes are still there
Dee
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Well, when I started reading I was thinking that you did something that symbolically ended your childhood, such as got drunk for the first time, or lost your virginity, but I should have known better
Happy birthday! -
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Aww, I'm sorry to disapoint you Danna.
But I wouldn't rule out the drinking. I mean, I'm still determined never to get DRUNK, but come on...while I'm in France, I'll have to try the wine .
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Err...gotta scrap the old comment I was writing because it started to sound old and eerily like a comment I read someone wrote on a poem of mine that I wasn't wild about.
Happy Birthday! I hope twenty is a good year for you, I know it went pretty well for me. I hope you have some celebration soon for your birthday, even if it isn't on your birthday itself. Becoming a full fledged adult is definitely worth celebrating, I'd say. -
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Hey! Long time no talk! (Then again, it's been long time no post for me
...lol)
Thanks! I'm sure 20 will be a good year for me. Do you still use AIM? I haven't in ages, but if you still do, I could come online and we could catch up and I can tell you all about why I KNOW 20 will kick butt
.
And I am celebrating tonight. I'm going out for dinner with a bunch of friends. I'm dressing up in a fancy dress, birthday girl sash, and plastic tiara that says "Birthday Princess." I've encouraged my other friends to dress formally (or at least a little out of the ordinary), but I'm not sure how many will .
And I'm gonna have another somewhat birthday related thing next week or weekend because one of my best friends who has been on exchange in Brazil for a year is coming home on Sunday!!!! So of course I can't miss out on celebrating with her somehow.
Anyway, yes. 20 is worth celebrating. Especially since I haven't actualy had an official birthday PARTY since I was like, 15. Last year was really fun (I was on a bugle band trip to the Calgary Stampede, so I got to go to the zoo, the mall, the amusement park, and the stampede grounds (which is basically like another amusement park
lol) all in one day, and the band bought me a cake), but, it wasn't the same as having a party because even though I am friends with a lot of girls in band, a lot of my closest friends aren't in band.
Anyway, that reply turned out a little longer than I had expected.
Will you be on AIM at all in the next few days? Just let me know on here and I'll hopefully be able to come on and talk to you.
Kayla* -
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Yes, it's been a really long time. I've sorta been wondering what happened since you haven't posted anything on LiveJournal in ages, which was sort of rare for you, if I remember correctly.
Sounds like you'll get plenty of celebration this year at least. I've always celebrated my birthdays, and actually, before I went away to college I usually ended up with three parties: one with my friends, one with my parents, and one with my grandparents. I don't know how that happened, but it was pretty nice. Last year was the first year I threw my own birthday party for myself. It was a bit of work, but it was great fun, so it was worth it. I plan on inviting lots of people this year since it'll probably be the last birthday party I throw for myself for a while. Who knows how many will show up, but it should be fun regardless.
I haven't been on AIM in ages. I rarely use it anymore since the majority of the time I go on in the hopes of finding anyone to chat with, everyone's either away or offline. It got depressing enough that I just stopped bothering with it. But I'll certainly start using it again if it means a chance at a good conversation, it'd be good to catch up and hear from you again. -
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Yeah...I kind of dropped off the face of livejournal too...sort of by accident...I got REALLY behind on stuff and then I just felt like I'd never be able to catch up...then there were issues with me being paranoid that I was gonna post something I shouldn't (I don't know if you saw my post about how I got in trouble with the people I stayed with first semester for some things that were apparently supposed to be "confidential" and then they were offended that I wrote badly about them when we had arguements and such...)...it just got too much.
I've been contemplating whether or not I should try to do a bit of a random, point form re-cap or not...
And I should start posting in the hartofsilver one again because it's the summer again...lol.
Will you be online tomorrow night? I will be, so if you're available, we should meet on AIM.
Just let me know.
(Oh, and you should totally get a facebook lol. All the university students are doing it ...lol. And that's where I'm REALLY active.)
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Eh, you don't need to do a recap of everything that happened since you last posted on LiveJournal, if you want, just start posting about what's happened recently. It'd be pretty much impossible to recap everything that happened since your last entry anyway, it's been like six months since you last posted anything. As for the whole drama thing, well, that's what friends only entries are for if you ask me, keeping the information where it's read only by people you trust.
I was going to say yes about tomorrow night, but I just realized there's a poetry slam tomorrow night and I'm gonna go check it out. I really need to do more things in the real world and less online.
Oh yes, just what I need, another site to go and get addicted to, as if I'm not already online too much as it is. Thanks for the suggestion, but I think I'll pass. I already have way too many internet related addictions, really don't need any more.
All the university students are drinking and getting trashed, think I'll pass on that as well. -
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Yeah, I should have just been making them friends only, but I sometimes wanted to send the links to people who didn't have livejournal, so they wouldn't be able to read them then...
Yeah, facebook is very addicting, so if you get addictions easily, it might not be a good idea...And as for the drinking, I don't do that either, but facebook is actually good peer pressure to fall into. You can find a LOT of people you haven't seen in YEARS.
I basically found one of my third grade friends that I haven't seen SINCE third grade. It's actually really cool to catch up with people after so long.
But I understand resisting...I resisted for a little while too...and failed miserably.
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